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Friday, 27 July 2012


On first reading the Dame thought she was having her ancient, but well turned leg, pulled, but in Cockelland anything is possible! 
After the Council's lamentable record with councillors(yes, ex Cllrs Phelps and two!) not being 'checked' the Dame has been assured those close to the young gymnasts have been given the 'OK'

To all Councillors and other guests attending the Road Show Parade, Friday 27 July

Councillors are reminded of procedures for this evening's Grand Parade at Exhibition Road.

Please be sure to allow yourself enough time to reach the Road House at 4 Cromwell Place (generously donated by South Kensington Estates) which is the departure point for the parade. Councillors must be there by 5.30pm for robing; cerulean blue robes for back-benchers, with Imperial purple for Cabinet members. The Leader, Deputy Leader, Mayor, Mayoress and Deputy Mayor will be robed in a separate room by the mace-bearers. Senior officers will also wear formal attire; the Royal Borough Lord High Recorder and his acolytes will be present. The  bar will open at 6pm, and participants will be able to refresh themselves before gathering outside; the Grand Parade will leave at 7pm.

The parade will leave in the following order: first, a band of trumpeters in medieval costume, and Flower Children dressed in white and wearing flower garlands to sprinkle rose petals on the ground (generously donated by Quadron); second, on foot, the Chief Executive of H&F and K&C and the Town Clerk, with the RB Recorder. Third, the following will be carried on litters or 'gloriettes' by youth service volunteers:  the Leader, Deputy Leader, Mayor, Mayoress, Deputy Mayor (accompanied by mace-bearers), and all Cabinet Members. They will also be accompanied by tumblers and acrobats along the route. The fourth group will comprise all backbench Councillors in cerulean blue - you are encouraged to wave and get into the spirit of the evening! 
The final group comprises our tribute to the architect of the Exhibition Road Show, Councillor Moylan, who will ride a live African elephant led by Mrs Brill (in a special but secret costume!) They will be accompanied by young members of the Kensington boys' gymnastic team who will demonstrate their skills where space permits. Councillor Moylan and the gymnasts will also be in charge of throwing Road Show Golden Tokens to the crowd; these can be redeemed for alcoholic beverages at the open air bars which will operate until midnight.

The Grand Parade is expected to last for about an hour, and will finish at the Royal Geographical Society gardens, where a private reception for participants and their guests will take place. At the stroke of 9pm, a thousand white doves, a thousand paper lanterns, a thousand red balloons and a thousand blue balloons will be released to symbolise the four stages of mitosis (the beginning of life) and the start of the Olympic opening ceremony, which can be viewed on the iPads which are to be generously donated this evening by o2.

After a buffet dinner at the RGS, a fleet of cabs will arrive at midnight to transport guests home; these are generously donated by Addison Lee (as a 'thank you' for RBK&C being such spendthrift customers.)
Please note that for health and safety reasons relating to the passage of live animals and to some expected 'fall-out' around the open air bars, Exhibition Road will be covered with a layer of fine sawdust (generously donated by Tree Wise Men).


  1. I can't work out if this is true or not.


  2. Prince Dani! Fabulous he!
    Dani Ababwa
    Genuflect, shom some respect
    Down on one knee!
    Now, try your best to stay calm
    Brush up your sunday salaam
    Then come and meet his spectacular coterie

    Prince Dani!
    Mighty is he!
    Dani Ababwa
    Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
    He faced the galloping hordes
    A hundred bad guys with swords
    Who sent those goons to their lords?
    Why, Prince Dani

    Prince Dani! Handsome is he, Dani Ababwa
    That physique! How can I speak
    Weak at the knee
    Well, get on out in that square
    Adjust your vein and prepare
    To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Dani!

    (with apologies to Disney's Aladdin)

  3. I hope ex cllrs Lamont and Phelps have not been invited....with all those lithe young gymnasts around there could be trouble. It was(was it?) sensible to have Cllr 'Boys' Moylan taking paternal charge of the gymnasts.

  4. This has to be some kind of sick joke? If its not is a total disgrace.

  5. 17.15, the interesting fact is that, despite how grotesque this story is, it is also believable.

  6. As I was stuck on a No.9 bus bumper to bumper this evening, I took Boris's advice and decided to walk. I strolled down Exhibition Road to see the Road Show for myself. In truth, this is a wonderful part of London, a real hub of Education and I am pleased to say that the V&A is open until 10.00pm during the Olympics. The Road Show which is a celebration of 14 years of Sir Merrick Cockell as our leader is in truth a fairly down beat affair with a number of food stalls and bars along with nightly concerts performed on a converted lorry. I have to say though that the paving reminds me of a crazy golf course at Blackpool and more consideration should have been given for those unfortunate people with disabilities.

    All in all, I think that the Exhibition Road Show should be a self financing project and in all honesty it is not reasonable to expect the Council Tax payer to foot the bill for the this event and certainly not the freebie last night.


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