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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Cockell Appoints Himself 'Prime Minister' Of The Rotten Borough

This paper has just been published by the Council.pompous or what? It's so puerile it further succeeds in bringing the leadership into disrepute. The Dame has added some of her own comments......
Find out more about the different Cabinet portfolios and the Councillors who are responsible for them, as well as their Lead Members.
And at an annual cost of c £700,000 they get more that most PLC non exec directors,yet have bugger all experience. If it were not so embarrassing and extravagant it would funny.
1. Leader of the Council
Cllr Sir Pooter Cockell would love to be thought of as the borough’s Prime Minister, in charge of one of the most popular places to live, work and visit in the country. He is responsible for an area with a local economy which produces more revenue than many small countries. He loves to dream his role makes him an influential figure in London.... he asks you to overlook the fact that his own company's attempt to generate revenue for the local economy ended ignominiously-in financial terms. His company, Addison Cockell has been hijacked by odd people from the Orient.

2. Planning Policy

Kensington and Chelsea is reported to have a greater land value than the whole of Northern Ireland. So  Cllr Ahern, being Oirish, is yer man to be in charge of setting the policy framework within which the borough is developed. Previously, Cllr Ahern was in charge of changing light bulbs at the offices of his tycoon ex wife. Or so one mischievous ex-employee reported. Lucky to have a very rich ex wife.....

3. Environment, Transport and Leisure

Cllr Paget-Brown is in charge of the often challenging area of transport policy. He is also in charge of key environmental issues such as waste collection and recycling. In addition, Cllr Paget-Brown, who is also Deputy Leader, looks after our award-winning parks, open spaces and leisure centres. Cllr Paget-Brown has spent many years Brown- Nosing to 'Prime Minister' Pootin Cockell in order to get the job.

4. Education and Libraries

Children and young people in the borough depend on us for their education – fortunately for them we are rated as one of the best local education authorities in Britain. We also have six first-class libraries issuing some 750,000 books a year. Cllr Mrs 'Betty' Campbell looks after this diverse portfolio. This post was one of our 'Prime Minister's little jokes...Cllr Betty is known to be the least educated of all our councillors-but she loves a biblical quote or two...yawn! With her own children at Eton, rather than being 'dependent on us for their education' her vast allowance is useful to pay the school fees.

5. Family and Children's Services

Cllr Betty Campbell is also responsible for all services for children, providing leadership, strategic planning and development and decision-making.(No, the Dame is not making that bit up!) She ensures that partner agencies cooperate to achieve positive outcomes for children. This does not include Full of Life, who she is offering nil support to. At a recent meeting members were astonished at the way she floundered around and her lack of intellectual grip. No wonder officers roll their eyes!

6. Finance and IT

If Cllr Cockell is the borough’s Prime Minister, then Cllr Lightfoot is Chancellor of the Exchequer, overseeing the Council’s budget and assets and making sure that the books balance.(again, not the Dame's words) He is also responsible for strategy and policy relating to the Council's information systems. If Cllr Lightfoot is our Chancellor of the Exchequer....God help us all! Such a pompous little fellow. He boasts he NEVER responds to residents. He is currently scheming to supplant Prime Minister Cockell.

7. Adult Social Care, Public Health and Environmental Health

Cllr Fiona Buxton’s role ranges from trying to help the thousands of people who depend on the borough for care or support to get what they need, to ensuring that our restaurants and shops are safe to visit.  Cllr Fiona Buxton was the creator of the million pound loss that is Chelsea Care. How does she combine a full time head hunting job job with this? She doesn't...that's why she cocked up over Chelsea Care.

8. Civil Society

The Council is always looking to improve the services it offers. It is Cllr Feilding-Mellen's job to keep everyone on their toes in the search for continuous improvement across all the Council’s services, including those delivered on the Council’s behalf by private companies and voluntary organisations. Cllr Feilding-Mellen also manages the regeneration and community safety portfolios. Cllr Fielding-Mellen has been chosen by Prime Minister Cockell to succeed him. So he is, in effect Deputy Prime Minister- like the useless Clegg. Prime Minister Cockell gave Rock the job as he needed 'work experience'

9. Housing and property

Cllr Coleridge is responsible for promoting better housing for borough residents and for the property portfolio. Cllr Coleridge is a jolly nice chap, but lacks 'muscle'  relentlessly following the Government's line on social cleansing in the Borough.


  1. I had to find this on the website to check, so in case you think the Dame has been unduly harsh, she has barely added a word or two. Forgive me Dame, but the original is scarcely less funny than your version, see for yourself:

  2. This is a mirror vision of the hubris that rules the Cockell administration. A million miles away from the basic services (and basic costs) that local Councils are supposed to be about.

    The "leave of senses" is all about the delusions of this tinpot Dictator. He goes to Jarrow and talks about "my Borough of five square miles". He puffs himself up and announces at a Council meeting that "residents should be proud of the quality of their Cabinet - fit to be in Downing Street".

    What on earth is he smoking????.

  3. Thank you 8.03. A sanity check.

    One has to read the official Council information on the website to realise that the Dame's piece is not a joke.


  4. How on earth is it that the Tory councillors are not able to see through this fraud? Why don't they get shot of Cllr Cockell?

  5. You might want to ask 'who writes this drivel?'. You may well also ask, 'who asks the writer to write this drivel?'.

    It takes great skill - and a suspension of disbelief - to come up with such dross, so spare a thought for the poor soul whose job it is!

  6. Ahern? Coleridge? Buxton? Campbell? Cockell?

    Fit to be in Downing Street???

    April the 1st is still a few days away

  7. it's very sad the corruption has lasted so long, a terrible blight on humanity and rbkc is an embarassment to the world, one day it will know how bad it really is

  8. The dangerous part is that the organisation has become corrupted in the wake of all this hubris.

    When the Chelsea Post newspaper published Cllr Cockell's letter in which he said that "I have never used the Bentley" the Dame reacted in fury and complained to the Standards Committee and also forwarded the FOI which showed that Pooter had used the Mayors car twenty one times in one year.

    The Standards Committee, which is stuffed with Cockell's stooges dismissed the porky and justified the fib as being "political rhetoric". And therefore acceptable. He was not even sent for training.

    You could not make it up. Not even in a Banana Republic

  9. Lucky for Pooter that he is not in the House of Commons. MP's who tell porkies and get found out lose their jobs.

  10. Prime Ministers are subjected to ruthless public scrutiny on a daily basis by the media. They understand the dangers of putting a foot wrong. Its called democracy in action.

    However there are about fifty local Government Boroughs where one or other party has been in power for ever and corruption tends to set in. And because local Government typically deals with low level issues like clearing the dustbins, there is little or no press scrutiny. So democracy dies.

    And when people like Cllr Cockell, Cllr Porter, Cllr T Dan Smith and Cllr Hatton take over these backwaters they are often able to run riot with their "out of sight and out of mind" safety net.

    But the Dame has put paid to that in K&C.

  11. Up Yours Forever22 March 2012 at 16:43

    Your comments about Cllr Sir Merrick Cockell are cruel and undeserving.

    The man is a pillar of integrity and would make an excellent PM. He is far above any of you in intelligence and wisdom.

  12. You could be right Up Yours Palmer about the wisdom bit....he never appointed you to any serious job!

  13. Person Familiar With The Situation22 March 2012 at 20:43

    Chief Executive Derek Myers has let it be known that it is "no longer appropriate for Cllr Cockell to use the Bentley in order to save taxi fares"


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