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Friday, 30 December 2011

Memorialising 'Lord' Pooter Cockell

Milton in Yogic pose
The Dame strongly disapproves of politicians being immortalised by statue makers-least of all-if just local politico's. She can just cope with those two great Englishmen, Cromwell and Churchill being plonked down in Parliament Square, but Simon Milton? OK, he seemed a nice chap but really do we need to have this odd piece of work. An important part of the English way of life is our disdain for politicians. We reflect that in our refusal to bung up their statues everywhere.

The  Milton sculpture will be erected in Paddington Basin, presumably as a 'Thank You' by European Land, the lucky developers.
The Dame has never understood the mindless adulation of Milton. Milton was Shirley Porter's willing poodle. At no time did he ever apologise for her criminal activity. In fact, they remained close buddies.
The harm Porter did to London and the reputation of the Conservative Party was immense.
Anyway, leave that aside..... The major concern about the statue is the possibility that other minor local leaders will want to have themselves immortalised in stone or bronze. It is truly a horrible thought; the stuff of nightmares.
The Dame hears that the Milton Memorial has got one leader salivating with envy. Yes, you guessed it... Pooter Cockell is particularly concerned his arch enemies, Barrow, Lister or Greenhalgh might try to copy The Milton Monument: thus he has discreetly canvassed colleagues to see whether they might promote a similar sculpture of him.
So far, the reaction has been one of abject horror. However, the Dame can see the possibilities.....
She invites readers to nominate a 'placement' for the Pooter sculpture and ideas as to how the thing would look. A dynamic Pooter? Or one of him recumbent on a Virgin First Class flat bed? Posterity demands it!


  1. I think a memorial statue to Pooter is a wonderful idea, because that means he will have left Kensington and Chelsea for ever. I have lots of ideas, but this is a family website so I will not say any more.

  2. I would like to see him in his Lordy robes. Maybe, it could be in the Town Hall piazza? There we could be continually reminded of how any nonentity can succeed in local government

  3. Let's hope it's bronze, then it will get nicked - oops I mean 'recycled' - back to the poor people he stole from for his vanity projects.

  4. Outside Richard Branson's home to acknowledge Pooter's many trips on Virgin Upper Class or outside 1a Chelsea Manor Street to acknowledge the soft deal Pooter negotiated with the local Conservatives to run his world class business flogging cheap cigarettes to Siera Leone.

  5. Pooter and Phelps stuffing

  6. I have not heard talk of statues for Cllr Cockell - but there have been many discussions initiated in the Conservative Group by Cllr Cockell about the size and positioning of a suitable portrait in the Town Hall.

    Having seen pictures of the Downing Street staircase, the little man's giant ego is salivating

    Pass the sick bag

  7. Cllr Cockell did not learn the wisdom of "leaving at the top of your game". He should have moved on six years ago instead of hanging on for 13 years and turning into the greedy, grovelling, self centred and pathetic figure that he has become.

    He would be well advised in the circumstances to creep away quietly and not be tempted by vulgar displays of the N Korean sort

  8. Kensington Resident30 December 2011 at 19:45

    Conservative councillors need to remember that there is a recession going on and the UK is fast approaching 3 million unemployed.

    This is no time for "vanity" mementos. Shocking that Westminster had the nerve to spend money that they do not have on the effeminate little figure of Simon Milton.

  9. At a time when people are worried sick about their jobs, families, homes, and whether in some cases they can feed their children, the fact that this little twerp and his gang of sycophants have time to think about a portrait to join the rest of mug shot alley tells it all. Egotistical little twerps.

  10. I would like to see him sculpted naked so we can see him in a state pf pure transparency-for a change!!

  11. Oh no, please no, 20.56

    Cockell is better covered up. I could not bear the sight

  12. It is instructive for us all to study the private Govt papers that have just been made public, and the attitude of Mrs Thatcher to public spending.

    After moving into Downing Street and the customary freshning up for a new Prime Minister, she questioned the £2,000 cost of sprucing up and insisted on paying for the new ironing board WITH HER OWN MONEY

    This example should be forced down the throat of Cllr "grab what I can" Cockell. Not an ounce of leadership in the toad


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