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Wednesday, 19 June 2024

CONSERVATIVE CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS GAMECHANGER

Dear Dame, 

I hope you will keep this to yourself: it's supposed to be under wraps...

A CCHQ AI expert!

In a last-ditch attempt to smash Reform, the campaign team have recruited a top AI team. 

The plan? To recreate a hologram of Mrs Thatcher endorsing Rishi Sunak. 

Evidently, the prototype is so vivid and lifelike that it gave her old nemesis, Lord Heseltine near cardiac arrest!

Mrs Thatcher is seen patting Rishi on the back and extolling 14 years of Conservative success and record-breaking tax cuts. 

At the moment the lads are not sure how it will be used.

In a typical 'Iron Lady' pose she says  Mr Farage is not a Thatcherite and Rishi is!

Best wishes, dear Dame

The Inside Guy





34 comments:

  1. CCHQ's new plan is actually to lock Rishi Sunak in a room and replace him with a big sign reading: Tax.

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  2. The Rt Hon G Shapps19 June 2024 at 12:23

    This is my brilliant idea

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  3. Typical Shapps...get lost twerp

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  4. I love it! Blue Sky Thinking...Up the Blues

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tory woes in Kensington & Bayswater from The Times (£££) https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/tale-of-two-seats-betrays-tory-woes-kensington-tiverton-jgxjj87xs

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    2. The writer of this is married to a very rich landowner so whilst her hubby might be able to manage sky high taxes ordinary people won't be able to

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    3. The Tories have given us the highest ‘tax burden’ in 70 years.

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  5. Winston S Churchill19 June 2024 at 12:28

    I would be happy to be used in this way

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  6. The Rt Hon Jon Major19 June 2024 at 12:29

    How about me? I am still alive

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  7. Pity you can't spell your Christian name John!

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    Replies
    1. Tories brace for brutal civil war.

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    2. Tory civil war has already started

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  8. I was tempted to make a wager that things couldn’t get any worse for the Tories.

    Now Sunak's protection officer is being investigated for alleged election date bets.

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    Replies
    1. Second Tory candidate looked into over election betting

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    2. Now we’re dealing not with people who might have heard a nudge or a rumour, but who actually had a role in influencing the decision, which would be the criminal standard.

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    3. Rishi Sunak says he is ‘incredibly angry’ about betting allegations. Ooooooooooooh!

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    4. The Conservative Party is seen as "tawdry", Ruth Davidson has said, as two of its candidates are being investigated over alleged bets placed on the election date. "What an absolute shit show. Firstly, I mean, how tawdry is it?" she said. She described it as akin to "insider trading" and criticised Rishi Sunak's response, saying he had repeatedly failed to get out in front and take control of event,

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    5. The Conservatives are “held in contempt” by voters as Rishi Sunak failed to deny cabinet ministers were among senior Tories to place bets on the date of the election.

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    6. Bettingate just got worse | Sunday Times

      Nick Mason, the party’s chief data officer, is under investigation by the Gambling Commission along with three more Conservatives

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    7. Cleverly's car crash interview on Conservatives placing bets on the election

      Trevor Philips, "Is it a sign or moral decay that your Conservative party colleagues were more interested in stuffing their pockets with gambling, than on helping hard pressed families in a cost of living crisis"

      James Cleverly, "There is an investgation by the gambling commission"

      TP, "It's not just one or two people, there's a lot of them"

      JC, "That's not my understanding"

      TP, "Were any of your cabinet colleagues involved"

      JC, "The Gambling commission says we can't discuss this"

      TP, "Why doesn't Rishi Sunak call in the alleged offenders, ask them did you place a bet, yes or no, and if the answer is yes, sack them"

      JC, "Because that's the gambling commissions role"

      TP, "No, he's the Prime Minister, they work for him"

      https://x.com/implausibleblog/status/1804788654608412971

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    8. That’s not yet another person, that’s the Tories chief data officer that was reported!

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    9. Sunak is such a ‘better than you’, what with raising the duty on port and age related smoking bans, it is amusing that gambling has been his downfall.

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  9. At Surrey Heath hustings last night, Samantha Goggins, the Reform candidate suggested that Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative government - not General Galtieri - was to blame for the Falklands War.

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    Replies
    1. Well, Johnny Mercer has beeen saying Fred Thomas, who will stand against him to be the MP for Plymouth Moor View on July 4, “could not stand up” claims about his time in combat. While the Telegraph has seen a copy of Mr Thomas’s Royal Navy certificate of valediction, which said he had “discharged your responsibilities faithfully over the last seven years” and praised him for “[embodying] the finest traditions of the Service”. The document was signed by an unnamed Lieutenant Colonel.

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    2. Johnny Mercer knows he's ballsed up that's why he's in full meltdown.

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    3. Johnny Mercer has had an absolute shocker hasn’t he.

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    4. What a shit storm of nastiness in Plymouth Moor View! A real throwback to vicious campaigns such as Bradshaw v Adrian Rogers (Exeter 1997), Mellor v Goldsmith (1997) and, of course, Hughes v Tatchell (1983).

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  10. Strong rumours tonight that CCHQ will tell some candidates tomorrows they're no longer winnable and that they're moving party rescources to a smaller core of still winnable seats as the party flees to higher ground. This could cause fury among candidates and activists.

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    Replies
    1. Teenagers who refuse National Service could forfeit driving licence, Sunak makes up on the hoof

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    2. Tory Micky Mouse policy appeals to idiots.

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  11. What fun ! Can Hands survive the inundation? And will Kensington Tories be willing to be redirected to Chelsea ?

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    Replies
    1. Greg Hands claimed he had gained a vote from the Count Binface. Hands wrote on X: “Interesting response on one doorstep: “My son normally says he votes for Count Binface, but he’s seen the polls and is voting for you.”

      “#BinfaceToHandsSwing #VoteGregHands”

      Despite what Hands post suggests, Count Binface is not a candidate in his constituency, but is standing in Rishi Sunak’s Richmond and Northallerton seat this general election, and is known for making fun of politicians.

      One X user noted the flaw in Greg Hand’s account: “Weird anecdote, because Count Binface has never stood in Greg Hands’ seat at any general election.”

      Another said: “Over 24 hours later and this is still cracking me up. No it’s not a parody and he also thought this was some kind of win against a man whose sole mission is set on mocking idiotic MPs.”

      X user dave lawrence gave Greg a brutal response. Commenting on Hands anecdote, the social media user said: “He obviously wants to stick with the habit of a lifetime and vote for the no hope joke candidate.”

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  12. Most amusing Dame, however I shall still be voting Reform.

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    Replies
    1. As I shall too....20:41 In the absence of a property opposition the only option for realists is to vote Reform UK. Even more so as the Tory spin machine feebly attempts to attack Farage. What I have seen is this. Many are timid about showing support for Reform but I sense it will significantly better that even suggested by pollsters.

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