send the Dame your information, discretion assured.
Comments are welcome but do not necessarily reflect the view of the Dame.
Offensive/inappropriate comments will be deleted and the poster banned.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Is there a Paedophile Ring Operating In RBKC ?

It's a tough question but it has to be asked. Councillors are in frequent contact with children in the course of their work. The vast majority pose absolutely no threat to young people. However, resignations in the circumstances previously discussed raise some very serious concerns.
To alleviate the concerns of residents perhaps all councillors should be checked out for working with children. In this way we can be pretty certain that there are no other councillors likely to be a danger to young people.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Let them eat cake-as long as they bake it....Post Riot Reaction

"Operation Cup of Tea' brought Portobello businesses, market stallholders, local politicians and the public together to have a cuppa, eat some cake and discuss the events of the previous days"

So reported Herr von Cockell's  £3.5 million a year Propaganda Unit run by his doppelganger, Mr Fitzpatrick.
The event was graced by Herr Leader and local Invisible MP, Malcolm Rifkind, kindly squeezing in 3 minutes between his many board meetings.

 Left: An Invisible MP from Scotland

In fact, both need not have bothered turning up-few residents did from what the Dame heard. Worse that that, not one paper local or national picked up the self proclaimed "Story of the Week"
The Dame was even tipped off that some ungrateful and insolent residents barracked Herr Leader with shouts of, 'it's alright for you, Cockle-we're paying you £2,600 a week' as he sped off in the £150,000 100 litre V60 RBKC 1 Bentley.
Imagine the 'behind the scenes' planning..... "Fitzpatrick, we need a clever initiative to show we really care about all those people in the far distant north of the Rotten Borough-what shall we do to make them  feel we care. And of course we don't want to have to pay for anything". "Herr Leader, I have a truly brilliant idea. Let's make them cook the cakes and make big pots of tea and then you just wander around looking concerned.We can put it up on our website as 'STORY OF THE WEEK'. I have even found a resident who will prostrate himself at your feet in gratitude for your august presence saying he never knew you cared(some mistake there. ed)
Glowing with pride Herr Leader clapped him on the back..."well done Fitzpatrick:you are thinking 'Ze Blitz Spirit.' With all those cups of tea and cakes they will forget we are raising parking charges; that the Wedge has been a total disaster, and my friend Dave Cameron has done nothing to reduce business tax".
They may even forget that I am pulling in £2,600 'big ones' a week.....

Left: Typical cake eating scene in Portobello

The Gilbert & George of Local Government Moneybags

As the Dame winged her way back to the Rotten Borough from her £20 million "tropical style' beach side
Phuket villa( Cllr Danny 'Boy' Moylan is a near neigbour though how he affords it is a mystery) the captain of her brand new Gulfstream V bought her an email. Her curiosity(and only that) were aroused when she saw it came from one M. Palmer. The email contained a picture of Herr von Cockle and his friend, the scary and not terribly pleasant Mr Myers. The odd thing is the closeness in resemblance to those other (artistic) poseurs from the East End? Can they be perchance related?
Now the Dame had asked you all to send her some droll captions, but some were less than appropriate...
So let's try again keeping it sanitary this time.
The prize will be a dinner with the Dame at Chez Patrick, that little French joint so popular with our Rotten Borough 'big spenders'- according to some of the expense returns the Dame has seen.

left: Herr von Cockle, Leader
right:Mr Myers, Town Hall boss

Monday, 29 August 2011

Daily Mail takes Cockell to task-again!

A few weeks ago the Daily Telegraph were set to launch a fierce attack on Herr Leader Cockell's extraordinary ability to put together a portfolio of jobs which, grossed up, gave him a taxpayer funded income of around £125,000 a year-just £20,000 or so less than the PM! The article would also have focused on the use of council credit cards to pay for expensive hotels, air travel, holidays for council tenants to Malta and a whole range of other charges difficult for any sane person to rationalise. Mysteriously the editor, Tony Gallagher and his boss, Aidan Barclay decided to spike the story.
Luckily the Daily Mail don't bow to pressure from Herr Leader's abysmal Propaganda Unit, so the Dame was pleased to read in her fave paper the Daily Mail that it's top columnist, Andrew Pierce, has taken up the cudgels on behalf of taxpayers and launched a stinging rebuke to Herr von Cockle. Will he listen?
In fact, the Dame has heard from an old friend in the Cabinet Office that von Cockle is furiously lobbying for a Lord's Junior Ministerial job. If he pulls it off his taxpayer income could reach close to £200,000 a year. You could not make it up as the Dame's loyal factotum, Ex disgraced Mayor Barry Phelps was wont to say....

On another matter the Mail reported the other day that the new CE of the LGA could be in for a 'glittering prize'.
Merrick Cockell and his K&C Chief Exec, Derek Myers are right there at the top of the pile when it comes to taxpayer funded pay. Herr Leader has negotiated £120,000 pa plus, whilst his 'attack dog' Mr Myers is north of the PM at £270,000(with his rather generous pension contribution and other benefits.) For those who don't remember it was 'Unlikeable Myers' who successfully guided the High Court action to take night care away from bedridden ex ballet dancer, Miss Elaine McDonald-even though it cost a mere pittance. However, he had no qualms about allowing Herr von Cockell to use the new Bentley, " to save taxi fares"!
So no surprise then to hear that the new Chief Executive of the quango Local Government Group Herr Leader chairs for £54,000 a year,(3 days a week) is likely to be joining the Happy Few with a £200,000 a year wedge...or so the 5 million readers of the Daily Mail can read about today.

The Mail has this to say about Herr Leader von Cockle.The only error they make is  saying that he has given up K&C leadership: that he refuses to do-to the chagrin of all!

"the political leader of the Local Government Group is Conservative Sir Merrick Cockell, former leader of Kensington & Chelsea Council. Sir Merrick is one of the local councillors estimated to have made more than £100, 000 in a single year in allowances paid by various local government bodies of which he has been a member"

                                                        above right:A typical Fat Cat Leader

As the Daily Mail correctly points out..... a lousy example  flying in the face of all Eric Pickles's demands- and odder still that Cockell claims to advise Pickles! Of course, councillors won't get to see this article on the press circulation: Herr Leader only allows complimentary pieces to be circulated-how pathetic!

Monday, 22 August 2011

Cockell sticks two fingers up to taxpayers reducing by just £60 his £2,400 weekly allowance

Conservative MP, and former infantry commander, Patrick Mercer did not spare his ex military colleagues for frivolous use of helicopters, "Leadership is all about setting examples" was his caustic comment. It is a wisdom that Merrick Cockell should take to heart.
Recently, respected Daily Mail writer, Andrew Pierce, castigated Cockell for continuing to claim his bloated allowance of near £70,000 a year for a two day week, whilst at the same time taking £54,000 for three days as chairman of the Local Government Association: in total some £121,000 a year.When he pitched for his near £70,000 he whined that he needed it as he 'worked' full time as Leader. Now he is on 2 days a week we wonder what excuse he drags up.
Merrick Cockell has another 'well earned' reputation and that is for protecting his personal finances.....
So how does he react to the scornful Daily Mail attack? Simply by pretending he is following the PM's example in taking a pay cut and shaving a derisory couple of grand from his already vast allowance taking it to around £63,000 or thereabouts.

In other words knocking off a miserly £60 per week from his near £2,400 a week! But he ignores to tell us he can well afford to do so for he has replaced his lost £36,000 per year from the Audit Commission and London Councils with a far richer £54,000 per year from the LGA!
Cockell will doubtless justify his 'tactic' by saying he needs to 'double job' to pay school fees and his expensive household. Local residents will riposte that they too have these overheads but don't expect them to be paid from the public purse. And what the Council does not properly disclose are his day to day expenses....these will be scrutinised by the Dame with laser like care.
Giving up 5% in this way is not just a gesture by a cynical and overpaid local politician: it is a slap in the face for K&C residents struggling to keep their heads above water. Oh and another thing; the Dame knows of many councillors, who in solidarity with taxpayers, are refusing to claim all their expenses. Compare that with Cockell who claims every last penny!
It is a pity the Leader cannot follow their example instead of looking after Number One

Monday, 15 August 2011

Wasting our Money

The Dame received this press release from the attractively named Mai Moon. Now what Mai has done is circulate a press release that has already been circulated by the local Police-and you wonder what she is doing working from a local Police Station! You can see it below.
This is an utter waste of taxpayer's money, but a vivid demonstration of how little the £3 million a year Rotten Borough Propaganda Dept has to do. For God's sake, Cockell...get a grip and sort out this hemorrhaging of our money by keeping PR staff in post totally superfluous to the needs of the Borough.....

Sent: 8/15/2011 5:58:12 P.M. GMT Daylight Time
Subj: FW: Press release re: disorder on Kensington and Chelsea and Bvlgari witness appeal
Dear all
Please see below for recent information issued by the police about items recovered and arrests made as a result of the disturbance in the borough, as well as a witness appeal.
Kind regards

Mai Moon
Media and Communications Officer

The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea
Whitlock House
C/o Kensington Police Station
6 Earl's Court Road
W8 6EQ

Telephone: 020 7795 6660

Subject: Press release re: disorder on Kensington and Chelsea and Bvlgari witness appeal

Following the disorder and rioting that took place last week the net is closing in on the criminals as police from Kensington and Chelsea make significant arrests.
As of today (15th August 2011) officers have made 20 arrests, issued approximately 15 search warrants and have about six people on bail pending further enquires.
Since the disorder broke out our many of our officers have been working 12 hour shifts or even longer and have been supported by MSC (Special Constable) colleagues on the borough as we provide high-visibility patrols and reassurance to the community.
Following the search warrants executed police have made a number of significant finds including:
  • Bvlgari ring
  • Hugo Boss clothing from the Sloane Street shop
  • Jewellery from Theo Fennell shop which was subject to a smash and grab
  • Shoes from the Office shop in Portobello Road which was looted
  • Alcohol from the Off Licence premises looted during the disorder
  • We have also recovered property including ipads and iphones from burglaries and quantities of drugs including crack cocaine
 We have also had a number of significant charges following the riots including
  • Two persons for violent disorder
  • Four persons for the burglary at Theo Fennell
  • Five for the robbery on the Super Save newsagents in Notting Hill
  • One person so far for the Office shoe shop burglary
  • We have also charged a number of people for handling stolen goods.
 Police still have a wealth of CCTV to trawl through and are following up on intelligence so more arrests and charges will follow.
Supt Simon Rose, head of Partnership said: "Following the disorder our officers have been painstakingly working through the CCTV available, our forensic examiners working on the crime scenes and we have been conducting search warrants where we have intelligence to suggest stolen goods are being stored or have been sold on. 
"As of Monday 15th August 2011 we still have more than ten persons in custody for violent disorder offences in the North Kensington area. 
"We still have a large number of leads as to suspects who will be arrested in the forthcoming week and we will be continuing to hunt down and bring to justice those responsible for the rioting in Kensington & Chelsea."
Anyone with any images or information are urged to contact Kensington and Chelsea Police (details under Bvlgari appeal)

Louise Powell | Media and Communications Manager 
Kensington & Chelsea Borough PoliceMetPhone 740638 | Telephone 020 8246 0638 | Fax 020 8246 0618
Address Room 207, Kensington Police Station, 72 Earls Court Road, London W8 6EQ

The Dame's Fan Club closes in on 80,000

and counting
It looks like people power is not just a flash in the pan. The Dame has become a unique source of 'alternative news' on the Rotten Borough and certain of it's reprobate and greedy councillors.
The Dame's following is not just amongst 'powerless residents"-followers range from MP's to GLA members to political power brokers throughout our great city. If you really want to know what is going on in the shadowy corridors of Hornton Street then the Dame is your lady....Keep the stories coming.
Over the months, under the lash of the Dame, councillors have started to amend their behaviour but we need to keep up the unrelenting pressure. 100,000 here we come!

Daily Mail attacks K&C over council housing strategy

Yesterday the Daily Mail reported that the Rotten Borough owned( in other words, you and I)  many council house properties with values in excess of £1 million.Most normally run and businesslike councils would scratch their heads and say, "maybe it is not so sensible having millions of pounds tied in just a few properties in some of the most expensive streets in London: would it not be better to sell them off, releasing the capital to be invested in a greater number of cheaper units in less expensive areas”. Can you imagine a Housing Association holding such property?
The Cabinet member for Housing is Tim Coleridge. Tim is a decent and honourable man. Does he really believe the nonsense put out by the £3 million a year Propaganda Unit......
"we believe in mixed communities" 
It is difficult to envisage Cabinet members with multimillion pound houses welcoming
Somali asylum seekers with 10 kids as a next door neighbour!
Left: Cabinet Member's House
If you are going to try to make a virtue out of a necessity at least come out with an excuse that makes some sense.
This council has a well known aversion to treating equally the extremes of affluence and poverty that exist in the Rotten Borough. To pump out such hypocritical rubbish insults the intelligence.
It is ludicrous to tie up, perhaps £40 million, in just 17 properties:dispose of them and redeploy the capital to buy many and more suitable council housing.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Advice to a useless young man

The Dame's useless, unqualified, unpleasant & unemployable nephew, Cosmo, has been sponging off his aunt and invited himself and friends for the summer. Anyway, the boy has been picking the Dame's brains seeing how he could build a career which did not:
a. require too much hard work and....
b. possibly earn him a knighthood-or better still, a place in the Lords so he could collect a £300 daily allowance.
The Dame was flummoxed by his question. How in these tough days-apart from, as she did marrying money, could such good fortune be achieved....then she had a brainwave....Calling Cosmo into her boudoir she gave him some ideas. 'Dear Boy, it's clear that you are what is known as an 'unachiever' but all is not lost: you must get yourself into local government'. Dilating on her brain wave the Dame pointed out the huge income being generated by her cigar smoking friend Herr Leader Cockleburger. From the Rotten Borough the Herr Leader is 'pulling in' a daily £673 a day for his 2 days a week, whilst from the Local Government Association he is taking £509 daily. The Dame also understands that Herr Leader is lobbying furiously, but discreetly, to get himself into the Lords. If he pulls this off he will have really hit the jackpot pushing his income to well in excess of 'Dave' Cameron at nearly £170,000 a year-plus some chunky expenses. No wonder people think that this sort of work should be renamed 'private' rather than 'public service'! Now the Dame is as capitalistic as the next one but even she wonders whether local government entrepreneurs should milk the system in this way.

Friday, 12 August 2011

The lunacy of the Winter Fuel Allowance

The Dame, being rich beyond the dreams of a certain Leader's avarice, was startled to be sent a request
from some government department asking her to immediately apply for a Winter Fuel Allowance.

At first she thought it was some little practical joke being played upon her by her mischievous Thai neighbour, Danny 'Boy' Moylan. However, it seems not so. Though you might be as rich as the Dame, with houses worldwide and a Gulfstream G5, our weird government positively incites you to claim the money.
This made the Dame think...if true UK PLC is bust why are the Government throwing money at those with no need of this Winter Fuel Allowance? There are over 1.7 million people retired with 1 million living overseas. Surely not all have need of this money? Just imagine how it could be used to help those in real need?
The Dame's loyal factotum, ex Rotten Borough Worshipful( a mistake surely Ed) Mayor Phelps, explained to the Dame that EVERYBODY over 60 could grab the money. In fact, he says, the claim form gives no option to waive the payment or donate to some worthwhile charity.
So here we are in the midst of an economic firestorm and the ludicrous politicians throw money at those who neither need or ask for it. Those whom the Gods wish to destroy they first make mad would seem to well sum up the crazy ways of politicians.
The Dame would recommend that all her readers who have no need of the £200 claim it and then donate to a favorite charity or the Mayor's Appeal.The Dame's fave is the Family Holiday Association

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Damned if you do: damned if you don't

The most emotive and potentially explosive decision councils have to take is whether to allow Notting Hill Carnival.
If cancelled there will be screams of protest: if it goes ahead and crime and civil disorder jumps there will be further screams of protest. For guidance we need look back to recent previous years. In 2009 around 320 people were arrested. Last year this figure fell to around 270 with the London Ambulance Service dealing with around 550 casualties. In the weeks running up to the Carnival the Met arrested 100 potential trouble makers. A further interesting stat-highly relevant as councils struggle to clean up after the riots- is the huge amount of rubbish generated-a staggering 100 tons.
So what to do.....
Without doubt managing the Carnival is going to seriously stretch the Police and other emergency services in a quite unimaginable way and without doubt troublemakers throughout London will know this and see it as an opportunity to initiate a second wave of serious civil disorder knowing that police will be tied down in Notting Hill. More to the point is that officers are already exhausted by recent riots and to expect them to be on top form is unrealistic.
The decision to allow the Carnival cannot be left to local politicians: it is far too important. Senior Met officers and those running emergency services are the guys to make the final recommendation and there should be no argument with them.


Herr von Cockleburg's 'heir waiting in the wings' Crown Prince Rocky Fielding Mellen has decided, for the edification of all and prevention of any further riots, to give us the benefit of his wisdom. It's in pursuit of his ambition to lead Kensington and Chelsea. With the kindly and cerebral support of his mentor, Cllr Herr von Cockleburg, Rocky has come up with a new vision of the future for us poor benighted residents. Now the Dame is highly educated with Master's degrees from many world class universities, as well as a string of learned papers on various arcane subjects to her name(stop showing off Dame Ed) However, Rocky's erudite scribblings( are you sure that's what they are Dame? Ed) have given her quite a headache.
Can anyone interpret exactly what he is getting at? A weekend at Chez Dame in Phuket will be the prize.....
The previous relationship between the individual and the state and the resultant division of responsibility between the state, communities, families, and individuals is not sustainable. Whereas in the past partnerships such as the Local Strategic Partnership focused on the joining up of providers, such as the state and the third sector, the imperative now is to reengineer the division of responsibilities to take account of new financial realities, but also, more fundamentally, what many people themselves want. That is to have as much control over and responsibility for their own lives, and the lives of the people who depend on them, as is possible.
Therefore, the challenge for the Partnership is to refocus its efforts away from an agenda which sought to build consensus and relationships amongst providers and which instead seeks to demonstrate, encourage, support, cajole and enable a new and more fitting relationship between the state, communities, families, and individuals which is founded on co-responsibility on the part of these actors.”
Thank heavens! We can now sleep more soundly in our beds as Crown Prince Rocky singlehandedly cajoles the rioters off the streets.


Wednesday, 10 August 2011


Herr Cockell's Enemy No 1

The Dame, comfortably ensconced in her £30 million super luxurious Thai beach side hideaway, has heard strange rumours about exotic neighbour Danny 'Boy' Moylan. They could well be true:recent dreadful events in London make them even more credible. Fashionably louche Phuket cafe society is speculating that the mop haired clown trying to run London has so spectacularly self destructed- through blundering incompetence, that Londoners are saying, 'enough is enough-on yer Boris Bike- into the sunset of a doomed political career'.
Now, if that were to come to pass it leaves 'Boy' Moylan is a tricky situation. We know he and Herr Cockell rely upon the largesse of the Rotten Borough to fund their lifestyles so if suddenly 'Boys' loses his £120/130,000 a year(courtesy Tfl) then it might be that the Dame could be losing her neighbour(as you know the Dame's dear ex husband left her a
vast fortune so she's ok and won't need to flog her Thai bolthole).
When Danny 'Boy' decided to jump ship to Tfl the rumour was that he felt 'unloved and unwanted'(he was right about that. Ed). Anyway, being a far sighted chap Moylan has been reviewing his options:and there is but one. What could be that be the Dame ponders....
Well, those who know in the corridors of Hornet Street say that Danny 'Boy' is pondering a return to the Rotten Borough Cabinet and fulfilment of a long held ambition to force out his arch enemy, Herr Cockell. However, Herr Cockell, being German, has many Teutonic ways of dealing with the Irishman, 'Boy" Moylan. Watch this space for some serious world war type warfare.....and remember councillors, the Dame warned you first your next Leader could be the man you love to hate!


In a statement to the local press Herr Leader Cockell said, “This behaviour seen last night is utterly intolerable".
Another day: another platitude. The appalling behaviour we have seen in London and other cities is unforgivable, but possibly explicable. Authority figures are no longer seen as such. They don't torch buildings or loot JD Sports but the  looters are not that stupid. They read, or see on TV, about authority figures behaving in amoral and dishonest ways- or they hear it from their parents. 
Our leaders' form of 'looting' is non violent and discreet. Whether through the claiming of fictitious expenses or MP's claiming for outrageously expensive and unnecessary plasma screen tellies, the message is clear....'everybody is on the fiddle'. So why should these ill educated and ill disciplined looters take our leaders seriously? They don't. They see them for what they of the system.
Merrick Cockell has been constantly in the press over his expenses, stays in 5 star hotels and $380 dinners for two with nameless guests. He insists on buying a £120,000 Bentley so, as he ignorantly says, 'for the dignity of the Royal Borough'. And councillors, despite the fact that just about every other public servant travels second class insist on First Class travel.
Lets not forget too the 'dignity' of Elaine McDonald deprived of night care and forced to wee on incontinent pads. The cost of forcing her to do this was a wacking £104,000.

It's time those supposed to lead started to behave themselves. K&C could make a start by setting an example. Cockell, paying himself £70,000 a year for a two day week 'leading' RBKC sends out the message, “ I'm alright, Jack and stuff the rest of you"
So Merrick Cockell stop being your usual windbag self and start to use OUR money effectively-not on ego boosting projects like the £27 million repaving of Exhibition Rd or sponsoring Holland Park Opera, but on projects to close the 'them and us' gap that exists in the Rotten Borough.
ER is not yet open but the pretty pink granite setts imported from China are now dirtied and dark from oil stains and skid marks. Soon it will look like the tarmac it replaced and another £27 million of OUR money will have gurgled into the gutter.

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

What on earth is going on?

Relaxing as the Dame is on her deserved Summer break, she cant believe what she is seeing on the TV back home in Blighty.

Buildings burning.
People revolting.
Police under attack.

What makes the situation a mockery is how the politicians stayed away until the preverbial hit the fan.

What makes the mockery unbelievable, is to listen to these so called youngsters bleating on about how the Police "dont treat us fairlee innit" and how that somehow gives them the right to smash a shop front in and nick a 42inch plasma TV.

It is a disgrace, and one they and their families should hang their heads in shame.

Our Police deserve the support of the people they protect, and these scumbag thugs hell bent on destruction should be shopped to the Police to face the consequences of their actions.

It is disgusting and must not be tolerated.

Monday, 8 August 2011

Postcard from the beach

Dear Readers,

Weathers here, wish you were nice.

Enjoying my time on holiday, unfortunately Daniel wouldn't let me use his holiday palace in Thailand, the spare room is full of council papers in unopened DHL packages, so had to check into a quaint little B&B in Skegness.

Hope the life in the Royally Rotten Borough is still good for you, and dont worry, I'll be back again soon.