A White Mechanical Elephant and Exhibition Rd...read 'al 'bout it.

Bearing an invitation on a silver tray, the Dame's new butler, ex Cllr Phelps sidled into the Dame's luxuriously magnificent drawing room.  Impertinently, Phelps had taken the liberty of opening the 'stiffie' and was giggling uncontrollably. 
'Dame, you have been invited to join a parade to inaugurate the White Elephant of Exhibition Rd', said the wicked old fellow. 'And what, pray Phelps, is so funny' snorted the Dame. 'Well, Dame guess what sort of animal is leading the procession? None other than a mechanical White Elephant and following it will be Pooter Cockell and Colin Barrow Boy from Westminster, together with tumblers and a Welsh brass band.
'Well, Phelps I can see nothing wrong with a white elephant: after all, the scheme is just that. And acrobats? Well,  one needs to be one to safely cross 'Moylan'sFolly'. I suppose it has been organised by the Council's £200,000 a year 'Street Manifestions Officer' Miss Totty Brill", declared the Dame. 
'And I am pleased that we are not missing the clowns: I see Cllrs Pooter Cockell, 'Boys' Moylan and Colin Barrow Boy are attending:and the buffoon, in the shape of the Mayor Johnson, said the Dame, flicking ash, with nonchalance, from her cocktail Balkan Sobranie. The only thing missing is the Mad Hatter.....maybe Cllr Palmer wlll be there...

The Dame noticed that 3 press officers, plus Fitzpatrick, from the Propaganda Unit will be standing by to ensure the mechanical White Elephant does not run away.

Pooter & 'Boys' on top of White Elephant

As the wise old butler and ex Worshipful Mayor Phelps said......'you could not make it up'
The Dame will be awarding prizes for the best photo of the White Elephant, acrobats, clowns and buffoons.

 



Media invitation: Boris Johnson opens transformed Exhibition Road   After three years of construction work Exhibition Road is being opened officially this Wednesday,  1 February by the Mayor of London and members of Whizz Kids (a charity supporting children who use wheelchairs) together with the leaders of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and the City of Westminster.   Date and Time Wednesday 1 February 4pm to 5.30pm   Interview opportunities (4.30pm outside Imperial College)   ·         Boris Johnson, Mayor of London ·   Cllr Sir Merrick Cockell, Leader of Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea ·         Cllr Colin Barrow, Leader of Westminster City Council.   Opening ceremony   Parade down Exhibition Road consisting of: ·         the Mayor of London ·         the Mayors of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and the Lord Mayor of the City of Westminster ·         Leaders of Royal Borough and City of Westminster, together with Peter Hendy and Daniel Moylan from TfL ·         The band of the Welsh Guards ·         a mechanical White Elephant ·         acrobats           Timetable   4pm – Members of the parade assemble at the junction of Exhibition Road and Cromwell Road (end with Natural History Museum and V&A) 4.15pm – Parade moves up Exhibition Road towards Imperial College 4.20pm – Parade arrives at Imperial College and is greeted by the Deputy Leaders of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and City of Westminster 4.25pm – Boris Johnson cuts ribbon 4.30pm – Media interviews 4.45pm – speeches begin in Imperial College   Background information   After three years of meticulous construction work Exhibition Road is being opened officially today (Wednesday 1 February) by the Mayor of London and the leaders of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and the City of Westminster.   The new-look road features a kerb-free single surface with no barriers or street clutter.  Visual and tactile lines distinguish pedestrian areas from those used by vehicles. Cars are slowed by a 20mph speed limit.   Cost   Most of the project area is in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea; therefore the Council took the lead in developing the designs and contributed £14.6m towards the costs.  TfL a further £13.4m and the City of Westminster put in £1m which meant that the whole of historic Exhibition Road, from Hyde Park to South Kensington Tube Station has been transformed.     Press Officer contacts on the day   Hugh Donohoe – 07814 247846 Jamie Chaloner – 07739 313451         Emma Strugnell Media and Communications Officer The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea Tel: 020 7361 2192 Out of hours: 020 7361 2826 Email: emma.strugnell@rbkc.gov.uk Visit www.rbkc.gov

A Thumbs Down for Exhibition Rd

This comment is taken directly from one of the many adverse comments about Exhibition Road following Rowan Moore's article on Exhibition Road. The Dame reproduces it because it succinctly and intelligently sums up the problems.

"I visited the finished "shared space" a couple of weeks ago. The expensive, patterned granite was already being dug up by a utility company just north of the Underground station. The area south of Cromwell Road is meant to be used for loading and unloading by commercial vehicles delivering to the shops and restaurants only - cars were ignoring this and parking in the middle.
As I crossed Cromwell Road, going north, the main impression I got was that I'd stepped into a car park. There are 52 residents' car parking spaces along the middle of Exhibition Road in this section. RBK&C have kindly provided benches in-between the parked cars - benches made of very rough wood in which there are visible splinters. Walking further north, a white van travelling south did a u-turn between a gap in the car park and right through the "pedestrian" area, scattering pedestrians.
There is, apparently, a roundabout at the junction with Prince Consort Road, but every vehicle I observed drove straight through the middle of it. That's what happens when you merely paint two concentric circles on the highway. Exhibition Road north of Prince Consort Road also has car parking, on both sides of the street.
The mock-ups of what Exhibition Road would look like when it was finished were extremely misleading; rather than a wide expanse of open space for pedestrians to wander at will, cars are still given priority, whether moving or parked."
Helen on the Bus

Everybody Is A Liar-Except Me...Says Moylan!

Moylan's Stained Project

The Guardian is not Daniel Moylan's paper of choice, but desperate times require desperate remedies. No other newspaper of import has anything good to say about Exhibition Rd, so working with the RIBA Press Office, the 'Honorable' Architect Danny 'Boys' managed to twist the arm of Rowan Moore (The Guardian) to write an extraordinary one sided review of this troubled and dysfunctional project.
Moylan is in the usual self promoting and arrogant flow. Everybody is wrong: only he knows what he is talking about. He even describes those thousands who successfully opposed his horrid and senseless plans for Sloane Square as liars. Odd fellow is Moylan!
Anyone, the Dame hopes you will see what a bit of arm twisting can result in. The article is a total travesty of the truth. The Dame hopes you will point this out in the comments section.
Moylan Yelling

Exhibition Rd-White Fur Coat Class - Self-Indulgent, Loud and Vulgar.

The Dame is-and you had better believe it-politically detached. Were the Rotten Borough in the hands of a LibDem or Labour majority there would doubtless be the same travesties: it is the by product of the Acton dictum...'Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely'.
There are excellent Conservative councillors, but they find it difficult having their voices heard. The Dame would very much liked her devotees to nominate those who stand out.
In the meantime she is very happy to highlight this comment from Cllr Dent Coad.

Cllr E Dent Coad has left a new comment on your post "Exhibition Road-A Stain on the Royal Borough":

Fly on the Wall 18.45, thank you for your kind words. My views on profligate spending are well known; this scheme is not fit for purpose and the need for expensive and constant cleaning puts it into the white fur coat class - self-indulgent, loud and vulgar.

Good public realm should whisper, not shout, it should be functional and easy to maintain,using materials that will age graciously. There are excellent, creative, and even exciting examples all over Europe; this is not one of them.

And in the context of the brutal and ruthless cuts coming our way in the Council budget, this is unforgivable.

Exhibition Road-A Stain on the Royal Borough

Oil Stained Pink Granite
click to enlarge

The Dame took a Sunday stroll down Exhibition Rd to see for herself the state of the just opened road. Between nearly getting killed by motorists speeding in excess of 50 miles an hour, she took a look at how the £23 million pink granite from China was coping. According to a cleaning crew.....not at all well. And that is why you, the taxpayers, are paying £1000 a day for cleaning this monument to 'little men with huge egos'. Think of all the constructive things the money could have been used for? What a total waste!

The cleaning team said that it was virtually impossible shifting the thousand of pieces of gum stuck fast to the road.

Desperate £7k a week cleaners
click to enlarge

Asked about clearing  the many oil stains they looked so embarrassed the Dame felt it unfair to press them: they thought the stains would never come off! They agreed with the Dame abrading the surface would be the only solution-and the end of what little skid resistance there was.

Emergency Stop Tyre Marks and chewing gum
Click to enlarge

Rubber tyre marks are everywhere: no great surprise there.....speeding traffic is continuously forced to make emergency stops to avoid pedestrians. No one knows who has right of way!
So that is the sorry state of the most expensive road in Europe-if not the world. Open for only weeks it already looks in need of a repave. Goodness knows what will happen when the utility companies start to attack it. A waste of resident's taxes and a danger to the disabled.
Heads should roll over this mess.

NSL Bringing the Rotten Borough Into More Disrepute

The Berkani story is rippling throughout the media.

This story in the Daily Telegraph is interesting for the furious comments about NSL, and the challenge to
the Council to do something about the practices of the biggest RBK&C contractor.The Dame encourages honourable officers to tip her the wink over other miscreants Pooter Cockell and pals are employing.
NSL will doubtless say that they were encouraged by the Council to generate as much revenue as possible.  Read about it here Daily Telegraph

Time To Fire NSL- Pooter

A rotten week for Sir Pooter. One piece of bad news after another... 
To end the week Pooter had to read that traffic warden, Hakim Berkani-aided by public spirited Chelsea resident, Alasdair Seton-Marsden-won his claim for unfair dismissal after he stood up to contractors NSL over their draconian policies on the streets of Kensington and Chelsea. The story has become news-not just in the UK, but internationally. And the Dame has just heard it on LBC. It does demonstrate how important whistleblowers are in exposing the corrupt secrecy so embedded in the culture of the Rotten Borough.

Local Hero's Berkani and Seton-Marsden

The Employment Tribunal was shocked to hear
Mr Berkani reveal that wardens were forced to issue 10 tickets a day.
He said he and  his colleagues referred to NSL as 'Ali Baba and his 40 thieves'
Daily Mail 
The civic minded warden claimed he was harassed and eventually dismissed by NSL bosses because he preferred to warn drivers they had parked illegally rather than simply give them a ticket.
The judge, Jeremy Burns ruled Mr Berkani had been wrongly sacked for opposing contractor NSL. NSL  operates in boroughs across London, including Westminster are now in a very difficult position. Far more difficult is that facing the Rotten Borough. 
Extracting as much money from road users is Pooter Cockell's lazy and morally questionable way of topping up the coffers. In doing so he and "Boys Moylan can continue to build 'follies' like the £30 million Exhibition Rd. Time to fire NSL. 
Below  pics of Mr Berkani's bosses. Need more be said? What a scary looking bunch! Go to http://nutsville.com/

NSL  Bosses.."What shall we tell the judge, mate"?

Mr Berkani's Boss!

                                                                

" Calm Down, Dear"...the witless and juvenile 'wit' of Cllr Barrow Boy

The Dame was interested in this exchange culled from the Evening Standard.

Two things struck the Dame. Quite reasonably Paul Dilmondenberg suggested Barrow Boy and his 12 year old lackey, Rowley,  apologise for the waste of time, money and effort their ludicrous parking plan created. Hard pressed residents and business leaders not only had their valuable time wasted fighting this piece of stupidity, but had to swallow the £1million loss it created. Thankfully Barrow Boy is off to bore people's pants off by teaching and writing books on parking strategy and gas plants.

Instead of leaving with good grace, dignity and a gentlemanly apology he went echoing David Cameron's Commons fatuous remark to Labour MP Angela Eagle. Barrow borrowed Michael Winner's catchphrase saying, "Last time I looked, Mr Dimoldenberg was a middle-aged man, therefore I think I can get away with saying 'calm down, dear'.

Barrow's Inspiration

It was embarrassingly unfunny when used by the grotesque and vulgar Winner; gruesomely unfunny when used by the Prime Minister and cringe making when used by ex gas plant manager....turned hedge fund manager....turned failed councillor, Barrow Boy.
Where are the days when politicians had wit and urbanity?
Could not Barrow recognise the huge damage to the standing of the Conservative Party created by his ineptitude? He and the hapless Rowley should grovel to David Cameron and Boris Johnson for the damage they caused.
Now Barrow admits his plan would have been an 'economy killer', "We have referred the whole matter to a commission to look at the West End in the round and see if we can come up with a solution that supports the economy better than this policy would have done."he now tells us!
Councillors were debating a Labour motion calling for the formal withdrawal of the policy.
In a surprise move, Lee Rowley, seconded the motion.

Maybe Rowley when he talks of 'grown up' politics he should apply it to himself.

Rowley, All At Sea

His behaviour throughout exemplifies his immaturity and unfitness to serve in any other capacity than Vice- Chairman of  the Staff Welfare Committee-though that might tax him his capabilities.

He said: "That's grown-up politics and I look forward to many other opportunities when we can come together and agree on what we can do to deal with congestion and parking in the busiest part of the city."
The council estimates that £700,000 has been spent so far on the dropped scheme, of which it claims only £200,000 - the cost of road signs that will now not be used - has been "wasted."
Mr Dimoldenberg has claimed the true figure is closer to £1 million.
Lee Rowley, cabinet member for parking and transportation said: "The figure directly relating to costs associated with implementing evening and weekend charges is £209,000.
"The proposals formed part of a wider parking policy review, which the Council undertakes every ten years. The research and officer time spent on the wider review will be vital to much of the work the Council does in the future."

The Dame and Flickr

The Dame was delighted to receive this sensibly constructive suggestion:she will pass it to her technical team for action. The poor old thing is not so adept at 'things modern'! She hopes it won't be abused by the likes of ex Cllr and Worshipful Mayor Phelps with his unhealthy obsession of posting up salacious images of young boys......

Disgraced Phelps with his very close friend

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The World's Biggest Street Cleaning Bill":

"Dear Dame, time to set up a Flickr account so your followers can illustrate their frustration with some photos"?

The World's Biggest Street Cleaning Bill

Cllr Nick Paget-Brown will have an embarrassing admission to make to council colleagues.You, the taxpayer, will be paying nearly £4,000 per week to keep Exhibition Rd clean! Add in Westminster's section and it rises to £7,000 a week. This at a time when the Council is struggling to make savings.

Exhibition Road is known to be possibly one of the most expensive roads of its kind in the world. The pretty granite setts quarried by Chinese political prisoners and transported, at huge climate changing cost from China, are showing the signs of wear and tear than any London road would suffer from- and it has only been opened for business for a month or so. Jettisoned chewing gum and tyre and oil stains make the pretty granite look very tired and sad. This is why £7000 a week is necessary to try to keep it clean.  It will be like cleaning the Forth bridge.
To prevent protests from disability groups and residents, fed to the back teeth with the waste of  £30 million, Mr Fitzpatrick in PR is being very coy about announcing the opening date. However, sometime in the days ahead, the architects of this mess will be gathering to open this most expensive and dangerous road.
Who won't be there to celebrate will be the UK's ten million disabled. Why? Because none will be able to use this death trap road on their own.

Pooter Up Against The Buffers-No Crossrail at Kensall...EVER!

Another day: another call from a very panicky Pooter. In between sobs he regaled the Dame with some devastating news.

Pooter Playing The Visionary

A major plank in the the Pooter peerage strategy was being able to boast that he had "won" Crossrail for Kensal gasworks. An important Dame Deep Throat tells her that, despite desperate last minute efforts, there will NEVER be a station at Kensal.
The thrust of Pooter's question to the Dame was how should  he 'massage' the bad news; after all he had boasted high and low about how he had pulled off the coup of decade. Silly chump....counting his chickens like that. Even the Dame knew that he was beaten.

How Much Is Pooter's Pension Pot Worth?

How Much Is Pooter's K&C Pension Pot?

You pay your RBK&C councillor a chunky allowance-some deserve it: most don't.
Besides the allowance did you know you also fund your councillor's pension pot? That may not just surprise you but shock you. Most normal people assume councillors are volunteers. They presume the allowance is there to recompense their time. They never thought councillors were now being treated like vital council employees!
The Taxpayers Alliance has just produced one of their illuminating reports on how central and local government waste our taxes. It is well precised here in the Daily Mail
It exhaustively shows the extent to which the 'councillor community' has lined itself up for some surprising pensions benefits!
The Dame plans to dig around to see how much our Rotten Borough 'fat cats' are stuffing away to fund their old age at your expense. So Pooter and pals beware....the Dame is on your respective cases.

Pooter Gives The Dame An SRA!

The Dame had a surprise phone call this morning from a sweaty Pooter Cockell.....

"Dame, Pooter here. I am in emergency Cabinet session in the Cabinet Room: we need your advice and I am prepared to throw you one of my Special Responsibility Allowances if you will help"

Naturally, the Dame was intrigued and though sworn to secrecy she could not resist sharing with you all.

The two recent opinion polls putting "Red" Ken in the lead over Boris have put the fear of god into Pooter and pals. As Pooter told the Dame...."Dame, you know we all have chunky allowances. Mine are a shade under "Boys" Moylan at £125k- but his are massive.

If Ken wins  "Boys" will be out of a job; our worry is that he will want to come back to the Rotten Borough and take my job and £70k 'wedge'. We need to stop Ken in order to stop "Boys".

"Yes, Pooter, I understand", replied the Dame, but how can a little old lady like me help?

Pooter's Reaction to the Dame's idea of a peerage for Danny "Boys"

Just then the Dame had one of her brainwaves....
"Pooter, I can't stop "Boys" but I can do something else: I can call Mr Cameron and see if he will promote Cllr Moylan to the Lords with a nice job working for your friend Mr Pickles"
Will the Dame be able to 'fix it' for Pooter and will Pooter be happy with the Dame's idea....

Cllr 'Brainbox' Roe Row

The Dame had always been told Cllr Roe was the resident WCC 'brainbox'. If this report in The Standard is well based-and there is no reason to believe not- she is clearly a bit silly. How embarrassing! Still, just think how much worse if Dilmondenberg got the same message from Cllr 'Boy' Rowley...terrifying thought! Let's hope cllrs don't muddle Roe and Rowley. At WCC anything can happen....

Another red-faced Tory at Westminster

Labour leader at Westminster council Paul Dimoldenberg tells me that Philippa Roe, Tory front- runner in the council’s leadership race following the departure of Colin Barrow, has accidentally canvassed him for support. He explained that she sent him a voicemail saying she was just ringing for a chat following the resignation.  “I am considering my options on whether to throw my hat into the ring or not,” she said. “I’d really appreciate your advice.” Dimoldenberg said: “She thought she was calling one of her colleagues. If she can’t even get it right when she has to speak to 47 Conservative councillors, how can she expect to be voted leader of a council that serves 250,000 residents?

“The best candidate would be Glenys Roberts, who was the only Conservative councillor who had the courage to speak out publicly from the beginning against this madness.”

Reds Under The Beds

A phone call to the Dame from 12 year old Cllr 'Boy' Rowley over at Westminster.....

Please Take A VERY Long Holiday, Lee

The witless architect of Barrow Boy's departure was far from  recalcitrant over the parking scandal. Au contraire...he was quite puffed up, boasting to the horrified Dame that he had received a standing ovation from the Tory Group at their Wednesday meeting. "What's more, Dame, I can tell you- and you can report it in your horrid blog-that it was only Mr Cameron and Mr Johnson who forced Barrow Boy out: they were scared the fuss would impact on election hopes. However being a top level management consultant, I knew we were on an election winner"
Lee said the Tory Group had done nothing wrong and that the Conservative lumpen masses just did not understand his clever scheme.
What truly shocked the Dame was his next statement. He said the Tory Group only bowed to pressure as a result of a ruthless campaign led by the Standard( owned by 'Red' Lebedev) and well known 'commies' like Philip Green and Richard Caring and other 'so called' businessmen.
"a massive conspiracy by anti democratic left wing forces" was how 'Boy'  Rowley put it....
The Dame sagely pointed that the lunatics seemed well in control of the Westminster asylum when Lee slammed down the phone.

Truth, lies, statistics and The Royal Borer

Back in 2010 the Dame brought you news from the Borough Organ (ahem! -Ed) about how wonderful the refurbishments in the North Kensington Leisure Centre were. Read it here

Funny then Nasty Nick was babbling on in December 2011 about how bad the very same North Ken leisure centre was, read it here

Poorly designed? Outdated equipment and facilities? Whose fault is that?

Nasty Nick in disguise

So if anyone out there in FTHN land can come up with a reason how NPB can on the one hand congratulate the council for making such wonderful changes to a leisure centre and how fantastic it all is, then on the other hand do a complete about face and slag it off as a monstrous carbuncle that needs to be demolished the Dame would love to hear from you.

Is it a coincidence it happens to be in the way of the North Ken Academy?

The Dame smells a rat...  a big blue one.

Pooter Cockell 'Keeps It Real'

Pooter Cockell at the seaside with Cllr Feilding Mellen From Sir Pooter Cockell LGA Chairman An 'exclusive' message for LGA member councils and The Dame.

Dear Colleagues,   This week sees the LGA as active as ever in Parliament.( No wonder they never see me at the Town Hall, except to pick up my £1500 a week, plus pension, plus expenses)  Thanks to me, and no one else, The Local Government Finance Bill has defied convention and rolled straight into Committee stage only a week after its second reading. The first session of Committee today, will focus on the relocalisation of business rates on which the LGA has been laying amendments and briefing MPs. This means we get more money to waste on fun things like Chelsea Care. Who said local government is boring? I was soooo excited to be in the Commons( though one day I want to be in the Lords!! hint, hint, Dave-just joking!) on Monday discussing community budgets for families with multiple problems, as part of the Communities and Local Government Select Committee's wider inquiry into the subject. As I patronisingly explained to the Committee members, community budgets are an essential way we can help meet the challenge of finding further savings in local services without damaging frontline services. What's more, the change necessary at the local level is already happening but the integration of public services requires change in Whitehall, as well as in councils. Also on Monday, at Dods Local Government Summit on Growth, I was thrilled to share the platform with my old friend, the Secretary of State,'Fatso' Pickles, for the keynote address. Being terrifically important I took the opportunity to highlight some of the laudable work being done to facilitate growth at the local level, and our call for even greater devolution. Fatso tried to get me to discuss my vast allowance and Mr Myers's huge salary but I told him to **** *** This devolution of money is a jolly good thing: it means that my deputy, Cllr Nick Paget-Brown will be able to 'do' more roads like Exhibition Rd to keep ourselves busy. Nick has asked me if he can have another Special Responsibility Allowance. He did not understand my witty riposte when I told him, "No, but I will give you a Special Irresponsibility Allowance": Lady Pooter thought it so witty!   Finally, I wanted to highlight the new programme of challenge and support that we are offering to our member councils launched last week – the 'Keep it REAL' programme, which offers members the opportunity to benefit from a tailor-made package of support along five distinct themes. This includes commissioning for social outcomes; securing economic, social, and environmental value for money; and strengthening representative and participative democracy. We are looking for councils (application deadline 5pm, 27 January) who want to build on an existing project that addresses one or more of these themes, and who have a clear ambition for how external support could help them go further in reaching their aims. If this appeals, please do get in touch. I hope you can all see what a fun time I am having mixing with all sorts of important 'personages'. I am just surprised that I have not been made Lord Pooter Cockell. This year I will be meeting the Queen (so may have the possibility to discuss my missing peerage) and ever so many other big wigs. In my next 'exclusive' I will tell you all about it. By the way, (and don't be jealous, Daniel) Hello Magazine are coming to see me 'At Home'. Needless to say, there will a need for certain elements of refurbishment at Chez Pooter!   Best wishes,  Sir Pooter

Spiv Watch Westminster

A Typical Westminster Councillor Spiv

http://nutsville.com/ says the reason for the going of Barrow are more complex than the long drawn out parking fiasco. A humble gas oil manager before getting into oil trading, Barrow Boy is a terrible social climber loving to show off about his fortune.
Nutsville's word is that giving up just before the Olympics is not Barrow Boy's style.(Dame, looking at his dress sense, style is the last thing one would connote with this man Ed)
If nutsville's claim is correct WCC matters could become a subject of police interest.
Like it or not, the Rotten Borough is inextricably meshed into WCC and so expect the Dame to be keeping a weather eye on this bunch of spivs!

 

From time to time The Dame likes to pick up on the thoughts of residents: it makes a change from our Council which delights in ignoring or distorting the views of those it is supposed to serve.

The letter reproduced below should be read and digested by every councillor. It is a thought provoking and lucid summary of the Exhibition Rd fiasco from the chairman of a nearby Residents Association.

Dear Gordon,

I have to say that this gross waste of tax payers money, whether it be by grant or Council Tax, is a scandal. There should be a public enquiry.

The result of this expenditure on Exhibition Road is a bland boring design. All dirty grey granite and horrible spiky silver grey lampposts.  Now it is proposed that Exhibition Road gets an extra cleansing budget, whilst the enforcement team which helps the rest of the borough, is to be cut.

The traffic and pedestrian layout of  Exhibition Road is an improvement but this could have been done at less than a tenth of the costs. Even the usual concrete paving slabs would have looked better and the replaced Edwardian style black lampposts were far superior and should have remained. Does everything have to look like the 1960’s?

We must make sure that the person behind this dreadful and expensive design never has power in our council again.

By the way whose ward is Exhibition Road in?! Could it be Daniel Moylan? Isn’t he now trying to save all us Londoners money, working for TFL? Expect trains designed by Picasso in the future

Regards 

********

 

It Ain't Over Till The Fat Lady Sings-At Holland Park Opera

Tot Brill Singing

Those privileged to know the Dame understand she and Pooter have one thing in common.

In their desperation to appear soigne and cultivated they pretend to be opera aficionados'.
However, this is where the Dame and Pooter  diverge.....

Over the years Pooter has been 'playing the patron' spending millions of our money at HPO to indulge his puerile pretensions. The singing now has to stop. Pooter's back benchers, heeding the Dame, have insisted Pooter cease this huge waste of money when front line services are being vaporised. Or, so it seems, from the Cabinet paper below.

Fire eating and street theatre organiser, Tot Brill, has been tasked with delivering the bad news to David Colver, HPO supremo. Very soon he and buddies are going to have to stand on their own financial feet and learn to pay their own way. About time too!

And no, David, don't ask Pooter if he will invest some council pension fund money:the answer will have to be a firm NO!

A decision in principle as to whether to separate Opera Holland Park from the Council, and launch it as an independent company. Contact Officer: Tot Brill PART A decision with PART B Appendix
Decision maker:	Full Cabinet
Cabinet Member:	The Full Cabinet
Contact tel no:	020 73613950
Contact email:	Cabinet.coordinator@rbkc.gov.uk
Main consultees:	Decision taken in consultation with the Friends of Opera Holland Park
Date to be implemented:	Not before 22/03/2012
Current status:	Scheduled
Report available:	No

Friends In High Places

 If they were sworn to secrecy how come the Dame was 'in the know' and posting the news on Friday night? It is clear  the Dame has friends in high places at WCC. More scoops please! She is particularly keen to know when Cllr Lee Rowley will resign. This is a perfect time for the sensible wing of the Majority Group to clean out the Augean Stables-so to speak.

"Mr Barrow, 59, who has led Westminster council for four years, told stunned Cabinet colleagues of his decision on Friday evening. They were sworn to secrecy until a formal announcement was made on Saturday. He insisted the departure was for personal reasons unrelated to the furore over parking and wanted to "change gear". However, senior Tory sources he had been left with no option but to quit after realising he had become hopelessly isolated within Westminster's ruling Tory group. "He didn't have his ducks in a row and he had no supporters,"

Pooter Cockell To Invest Your £20bn Pension Fund!!!

Would you trust a man who ran a one man basement business flogging fags to Africa to manage your pension?

An Abingdon Cockell Oppo

Doubtful-unless you are insane. Imagine the Dame's stunned state when she read our mighty business brainbox, Pooter Cockell has designs on your pension pot. He wants to use £20bn of council pension funds to build new roads, bridges, houses and toll roads......like the £30 million 19,800 sq.m Exhibition Rd-the world's most expensive!

Keep Your Hands Off Our Pension Money

Pooter's business record is truly catastrophic. His last 'investment' using taxpayers' money is an object lesson. Chelsea Care will end up costing taxpayers the thick end of £1 million.
Another 'investment' was the Wedge:so far over £250,000 down the plughole. As Council Officer said in his comment below
"The subject has been aired at the RBKC Investment Committee and there is NO WAY they will permit it. And good luck to him with other Councils - it's all hot air on his part, fluff and nonsense." 
So it begs the question...if his own council won't touch this idea with a barge pole why would any others?
Then his multimillion pound 'investment' loan to the Design Museum;unsecured and at a nominal interest rate...The Dame suspects there will be 'tears before bedtime' on that one as Pooter pits himself against Terence Conran. And then the rebuild of Holland Park School: £100 million, and yet not one additional place!

And what of his 'investment' in Exhibition Road? It's a £30 millions disaster waiting to happen. The letter below from renowned traffic engineer and local resident, Dr Gordon Taylor graphically points this out to Cllr Paget-Brown.

Pooter Cockell and his schemes should carry a Financial Health Warning. Do not let this loser get his hands on your pension money!
  
Dear Nick

In a recent letter to the local paper you queried the cost that I had given to the new road.

The new road cost £22.4M to build. All construction work was carried out with the objective of creating the new 19,800 square metre road. This would include any works such as moving utility infrastructure with a view to decreasing possible future maintenance costs. It is therefore correct to say that each sq metre of road cost £1,184. This makes the new Exhibition Rd one of the most expensive in the world and a huge waste of public money. In the same letter you claimed that the cost of this chinese granite road  was the same as other natural stone used in new road construction in London. In this you are incorrect. Granite setts are most commonly used. These cost £128/sq metre laid (Westminster City Council figure) In other words Exhibition Rd costs almost 10 times as much. The attractive pink tarmacadam  road surface in the Mall and around Buckingham Palace costs £18/sq metre and is infinitely  easier to maintain than the hand laid chinese granite block road that the Council has had created.

How has this come about? As the Design Champion, Deputy Leader and reportedly the most  powerful personality on the Council at the time the critical decisions were made, Cllr Moylan will surely shoulder the responsibility for the decision to appoint architects to design the road. These architects had impressed with their pedestrian paving design at Somerset House but appear to have had no previous road design/construction experience

Pavement and road design/construction are totally different.

The lack of construction expertise within the Council also played a part in what has transpired. It should be noted that the Executive Director, Transport, Leisure and Environment appeared to have no formal transport qualification. If I read the organisation of the Council’s affairs correctly the Exhibition Rd project would come under the Transport Dept.

I suggested to the Leader that a civil engineer be appointed to manage the project but this was not taken up. No-one appears to have questioned whether what was proposed gave value for money or whether in this day and age a hand laid block road was a sensible option.

The architects initially chose sandstone for the road .This was considered unsuitable. Experts then apparently recommended  the chinese granite. This was chosen. A Council report says its skid resistance was less than standard road materials and recommended a 20mph speed limit. This at the same time where elsewhere in the borough the Council was laying road surfaces in places eg outside schools, to improve skid resistance. It surely would have been better to have a material used on Exhibition Rd with at least as good a skid resistance as a normal road material.

The use of chinese granite blocks hand laid also has implications for road maintenance. They increase its cost enormously.

Because of its construction the road has been classed as a ‘Road of Special Engineering Difficulty’ This means that all re-instatement must be carried out to match the existing construction. To this end the Council is storing 90 crates of chinese blocks for onward sale to utility companies as they are needed. This has a capital and storage cost accruing to the Council ie taxpayer.

Repairs will be more expensive and take much more time for the utility company who will pass the cost on to their customers. Road delays will be much longer than the repair to an ‘ordinary’ road.

At a Sharing the Street Conference on Dec 1^st David Ubaka of Transport for London (possibly someone who has worked for Cllr Moylan) said that utility companies were the ‘elephant in the room’ when it came to shared space schemes. They were no respecter of road surfaces. He showed a slide of a tarmac repair in a granite sett road. He stressed that local authorities should avoid expensive road materials for the above reason.

A further cost lies in the high street cleaning cost of £175,000 proposed pa by the Council for Exhibition Rd

In summary.

By using an architect with apparently no previous road building experience the Council has built a grossly expensive road at the taxpayers expense.

The road surface is below the skid resistance standard required of a regular highway.

Road repairs will be more costly and take much longer than those for an ordinary highway.

Yours sincerely

Mr Pickles Blubs On The Dame's Shoulder-The Dame Survives!

The Dame is very concerned about Mr Pickles. Last night The Dame was guest at a grand political soiree. Who rolls up to the Dame? None other than Mr Pickles looking daily more like a sack of King Edward potatoes on the move. Tears rolled down his blubbery cheeks into his tankard of stout as he regaled the Dame with his tales of woe. He has been raging against councils for spending too much on chief executive's salaries; councillor allowances and not using reserves to save services. Mr Pickles said that when he asked Sir Pooter to stop double jobbing and grabbing £125k a year he and Mr Myers just giggled.

Pickles-All Huff & Puff

Mr Pickles went on to whine about councils spending on lobbying."Why these councils feel the need to indulge in vanity lobbying when they could simply pick up the phone is beyond me" he huffed. It's a waste of public cash and undermines public confidence in the political system. These councils owe their voters an apology."
He then went on to quote an example of The City of London Corporation. The Corporation spent £240,000 between February last year and plans the same next year on Quiller Consultants for "strategic advice and guidance".
Now this is the odd part....Quiller is closely associated with the Conservative Party. George Bridges who runs Quiller is a 'close personal friend'  of the PM and has been a campaign adviser. (What is a personal friend, Dame Ed?)
Huntsworth, which owns Quiller, is chaired by greasy social climber, Lord Chadlington: Chadlington is a very firm friend, neighbour and financial supporter of Dave C.

Mr Pickles asked, ''why councils simply cannot pick up the phone is beyond me''.

But what is beyond the Dame is why Mr Pickles cannot just pick up the phone and talk to Mr Bridges directly-or his boss, Lord C: maybe neither would take his call!

The sad fact is that Mr Pickles is all bluff and bluster and is not up to the job. He should go and do a barrow: just an obese windbag.

We Need Much Less of Moore!

The Dame was astonished to read Mike Moore, chief executive of Westminster City Council, saying, "Colin has led the authority through a testing period where we have made significant savings while retaining most of our frontline services."
The Dame's view is that this is a political statement and is it quite wrong for Moore to stick his nose into the political arena. Maybe Mr Moore should consider his own position: his staff have been responsible for one blunder after another

Something Moore should do too

Read more:Daily Mail

BARROW'S WHEEL COMES OFF!

A late night call from Colin Barrow....

He's Off!

Colin tells the Dame that he will be stepping down as Leader of Westminster City Council tomorrow. Of course, we know that the real culprit is that absolute nincompoop 12 year old Cllr Lee Rowley. Time he fell on his sword too. And Sir Pooter Cockell could follow their example!

This is the letter from Paul Dilmondenberg which forced Barrow's hand...nutsville that scourge of waste, corruption and incompetence has much more....

Dear Colin 

The general public reaction of residents and businesses to your decision to announce the latest West End parking changes at 3.30pm on Friday 23rd December has thrown into question whether the Council any longer enjoys the trust and confidence of the vast majority of people who live and work in the West End. Without that trust and confidence the Council can have no legitimate basis for taking decisions that affect the lives, jobs, businesses and careers of hundreds of thousands of people.

Despite your warm words promising to ‘listen’ to people following the High Court decision on 14th December, a mere 9 days later you do a complete about-turn and announce that you are going ahead with part of the plans so roundly condemned by Mr Justice Collins. Local residents and businesses feel they are being treated like fools by an arrogant Council that has no conception of the legitimate concerns and outrage that your parking proposals have provoked.

Moreover, the Council’s reaction is to portray everyone who disagrees with any aspect of the parking proposals as either misguided, stupid, self-interested or politically motivated. Your reaction to the unprecedented coalition of opposition to your West End parking plans can be summarised as “Westminster Council is right about everything all of the time, while everyone else, no matter who they are or the experience they have, is totally wrong on every aspect of their opposition”.

Your decision to ‘bury the bad news’ on 23rd December was a disgrace.

Drooling Coleman

The Dame has been sent an extract from a review produced by the horrendous buffoon who embarrasses the GLA. This is something quite vile about ugly old men drooling lasciviously about pretty young boys- as Coleman does here.

The Hideous Coleman

We in the Rotten Borough have plenty of experience of such disgusting types who revel in images of young boys: luckily they have now been kicked off our Council;well, perhaps we should say most: there are one or two more on the Rotten Borough, with an aggressive interest in young boys. They know who they are-and so does the Dame...
Coleman describes himself as a 'professional politician'. In other words he has chosen to make his career in a local politics making taxpayers support him to the tune of over £125,000 a year.
Let's hope the voters of Barnet give him the chance to get his old life back by kicking him out.

Brian Coleman gives his acerbic verdict on the hit West End musical Hairspray

In the days when I had a life (before I became a professional politician) I was a regular West End theatre goer.

Except for the principal young male lead called Ben James-Ellis who sang and danced so energetically he had sweat pouring down his pretty face by the end of the evening.

Not Such A Good Idea From The Media and Comms team at RBKC

The Dame has just received this chatty missive from her friends at the RBKC Media and Comms team.

They seem a little behind the curve; still the Dame does not wish to be churlish so asks her dear readers to come up with some lighthearted names. Those which are designed to embarrass Sir Pooter will not be considered. The Dame has come up with  'Dolly Weatherhead' as she knows all about boring.

RBKC Cabinet in front of the Dolly Weatherhead

 From: The Media and Comms team at RBKC

Dear Kensal Crossrail supporter,

We noticed this on the Crossrail website – it’s a great chance for some light-hearted support for a station at Kensal and also the chance for you to win £500 Eurostar vouchers...

Crossrail has launched a competition for people to name their giant tunnelling machines. According to tunnelling tradition, the tunnel boring machines can’t start work until they’re given a name for good luck. Crossrail are asking people to help name the TBMs in pairs and they’re looking for female names. We were thinking of some Kensal-related names to support our ambitions for a station. Ok, Kensal isn’t really a girl’s name but something like Kensal and Rose could do the trick, though you could probably do a lot better! There’s a section to explain your name choices so it would be great if you wished to mention our plans!

If you fancy trying to win the competition, or a light-hearted way to show your support for Kensal Crossrail, here’s the link:

http://www.crossrail.co.uk/route/tunnelling/naming-competition

All the best,

The Media and Comms team at RBKC

 

Burying Bad News In The Veg Patch

Council Turnip Head

Keeping councillors busy is a vital work creation scheme-not just for councillors, who have to justify their vast allowances, but for the chronically underemployed and sickeningly overpaid PR staff at Hornton Towers. Why was this ludicrous and pointless press release sent out? One would have thought that the previous item about Crossrail would have topped the agenda. Jobs are being slashed throughout the Rotten Borough so sending out this sort of rubbish seems to go out of it's way to prove our council is run by a bunch of turnip heads!

This is what  Cllr Paget-Brown, our £60,000 a year Deputy Leader had to say, "I hope as many people as possible get along to Portobello Road to enjoy some of the treats on offer at the Festival of British Roots. There are some real treats on offer from hearty stews to delicious cupcakes." Sorry Nick, this is just embarrassing......

Seasonal root vegetables from market traders on Portobello Road will be turned into a variety of tempting winter dishes by Alan Rosenthal, the chef and author of `Stewed!', as part of the Festival of British Roots (Friday 27 and Saturday 28 January) organised by the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea.

Those with a sweet tooth will be able to buy beetroot and chocolate cupcakes baked by the Hummingbird Bakery at its Portobello Road shop.

Children from local primary schools will be taking part in a range of veg-related activities in a gazebo on Portobello Square organised by the Primary Care Trust. The children will be introduced to the local Kitchen Garden Project and given root vegetable seeds by the Council. A bicycle-powered smoothie machine will be used to blend root vegetable soups and the children will turn into `veg detectives' when they are asked to guess the secret ingredient in cakes, breads, pies and drinks.

Cockell Cross and Crossed Over Crossrail

The Cross Rail Site

Eagle-eyed residents have been daily scanning the Council's press releases to see when and how our £1.5 plus million/year Press Office will deal with the oh-so-embarrassing 'news' that Hammersmith and Fulham have nicked our Crossrail station. Those of us who are awake in January and not playing polo in Argentina( when are you back Poloboy Marshall?) will have noted that the High Speed 2 announcement on Tuesday 10th included the news that the transport superhub at Old Oak Common is to include a link to Crossrail.

No doubt about it, even the Mayor of London stated it unequivocally.

However, rather than discovering a weasly press release on the subject, visitors to the rbkc website were greeted with what they could only imagine was an allegorical story or mickey-take on behalf of press officers.

Of course the entire Cabinet and most of the 'trusties' knew about this a year ago, but maintained the fiction for reasons that the Dame will not mention for fear of litigation.  Now we are told that old turnip-head himself Nick Paget-Brown is quite put out that the news is finally out, and the Council has nowhere to go without appearing ridiculous.

'Stewed' indeed.

KALC Coughs up some Cash

The proposed site

Just as with litigation where the biggest winners are always the lawyers, the same could be said when local authorities embark on major capital projects. Advisors and consultants start to salivate as they contemplate all those lovely fees they can charge that make the recently awarded Caruana's SRA pale into insignificance.

So, dear Reader have you any idea how much the Kensington Academy Leisure Centre or "KALC" (you know, the bulldozers up there at Lancaster West and the plonking of a new secondary school slap bang on top of Grenfell Tower) has cost? It's actually topped £1.5million, the first £650k has been spent.

Nice work if you can get it. See it for yourself here

A report on 12th December to the Cabinet suggested four different options for developing this site, ranging from the budget one (costing £37.4mm) up to the all singing and dancing (is that the consultants doing that? -Ed) costing over £60mm.

Of course the devil is in the details, isnt it always?

Page 16 of the report details rather niftily the financial implications, telling us the council is going to cough up £36mm of your money, and the rest is going to come from a variety of sources including £17.6mm from PfS (Partnership for Schools), which is an executive agency that is part of the Department for Education, and a tranche from capital receipts (this means the proceeds for selling an asset, ie the land) of about £10million.

However...

Further down the same report (paragraph 5.2.4) it says that if the PfS provide less; or if the fire sale of assets doesn't actually make the amount expected due to economic factors or things like that then the council contribution will have to increase to make up the shortfall. Not only that, but the council may have to use your cash to kick start the project, before they sell the asset, whichwill mean some short term borrowing resulting in additional interest costs.

Good job the council tax payers of K&C have deep pockets isn't it!

A Leader Calls La Dame

Unique Picture of The Dame

La Dame was about to leave for a little 'end of sales' shopping with her 'walker,' thoroughly disgraced ex Mayor Phelps when her telephone tinkled.....

The Dame's Telephone

Picking it up she heard the grovelling tones of Sir Pooter Cockell.

"Happy New Year, Dame, I thought I would just call to point out that I have been following your advice. As requested I have stopped using the Bentley; cut my expenses-and, you will have noticed, reduced my Leader's allowance.
"Yes, Pooter, replied the Dame, I have noticed your efforts, but you have only made token gestures in respect of your allowance: knocking £5,000 off your £125,000 a year does not cut it with me".

Some might say that La Dame is being rather harsh with Pooter: she does not see it so. In fact, she is now asking him to send over his diary to check to see how much time he is spending at Hornton Street on RBKC business. When you are paying someone £1200 a week you expect them to turn up.
As an aside La Dame heard that Pooter was incandescent with rage when he heard that La Baronessa Ritchie had pipped him to a peerage....

Christmas Comes Early for Carol Caruana

Carol with what she would have looked like
canvassing with her council lolly

The boroughs GLib-Dems were cock-a-hoop this Christmas as they were enjoying the benefits of Cllr Caruanas hard won alllowance for being the third largest group on the council (in other words, the smallest? -Ed). Council "awarded" the overworked and underpaid member for Colville with an extra £4,437 per year, on top of her £10k a year plus any additional expenses she may be claiming.

Heart strings were pulled early in 2011 when the Lib Dem leader gave great political insight in submitting a begging letter to the administration committee, saying that when we was originally elected as a sole member it was all ok doing what she did for the £10 grand, but now with a whopping 200% increase in her group (you mean 2 more? -Ed) suddenly the amount of administration, responsibility and busy-ness means she richly deserves a payrise.

As Hornet reported here, the LibDem partners referred her missive to the Administration Committee for consideration.

Well, it may have passed you by as you blinked but nothing gets past the Dame... you can read it here

The Tory friends of the LibDem leader have granted the overworked and underpaid Colville Councillor the extra cash because clearly she deserves one.

Nick Clegg would be proud.

Mr Myers And Sir Pooter Cockell To 'Character Witness' soon?

Pooter Cockell and Mr Myers 'in the box'....

Would the reader writing in asking whether Mr Myers and Sir Pooter Cockell would be called as character witnesses-in any upcoming legal processes-please expand upon her cryptic message.

Would she elaborate upon who these two important people might be vouching for.

Barnet's Burden

Barnet's Burden

We are not alone in the Rotten Borough. Besides having to endure an incompetently run council Barnet residents have a freeloader par excellence in Brian Coleman GLA. He makes Danny 'Boy' Moylan seem civilised
and our leader, Sir Pooter Cockell, a paragon of sagacity and parsimony(are you joking, Dame? Ed)

Our Burden Moylan

Coleman is of great interest to us K&C residents. As the resident GLA buffoon we have good reason to follow his antics: they affect us greatly. This excellent blog should be bookmarked http://barneteye.blogspot.com/






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