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Tuesday, 1 February 2011


Volume 1
Episode 1

The Phantom Arrives


It is a warm day and everyone in Philbeach Gardens is overjoyed at the news of the Royal Wedding. The Chairperson of the Residents Association has called a special meeting to discuss the important occasion. The Committee is in session at Number 20A in the living room. A tribute to the IKEA sale, the room is resplendent in furniture with names that contain very few vowels. The Committee Chair is sat on a rather worn armchair, that has an MDF panelled box around it, including roof lined with gold shiny paper.

Merrick(MC): [for it is he] Ok so I call this meeting to order.

Everyone is milling around and chatting, music can be heard from the adjacent room and Daniel Moylan is sat in the corner puffing away on cigarettes eyeing the cheesecake in the centre of the table.

MC: Look, can we get down to business please
Gerard: Yes exactly, I want to know whose business that lot is

He points out the window at a pile of dogs business that is littering the pavement

MC: Its not my Fifi or Trixi [patting the head of his little miniature dogs]
GH: Well, whose is it then?

Mrs Jones who lives down the road chips in, pointing to Daniel Moylan sat in the corner, his face partially clouded by the West African blend fags he is smoking.

MrsJ: Who is that fellow
MC: Thats Cllr Moylan, he is deputy leader
MrsJ: Whats he doing here?

She is nudged by Malcolm Spalding who whispers quietly in her ear, we do not hear what he told her and Mr Lewis, the other attendee looks around furtively.  The Committee Chairperson quickly moves the meeting on.

MC: So the Royal Wedding, shall we have a street party and who is going to be in charge of what?
GH: I love a street party, but dont invite the Mayor we wont get a look in on the gin otherwise
MS: I can do car rides, for the children? I mean, when Cllr Ritchie isnt using it to pick up the kids from school that is
MC: Yes yes, but look we need to sort out whats happening because you know, I may or not be here, I may be you know, actually there...  Knight of the Realm and all that

Suddenly Daniel Moylan stubs out his cigarette on the mock antique table. His face appears through the cigarette smoke as he turns to the window and raises his arm with an outstretched index finger pointing to the road...

DM: There's your phantom

Everyone looks out the window just as a shadowy figure disappears into Warwick Road, scurrying off. The assembled committee rush out into the street but they are too late the figure has vanished.  The committee notice another large deposit left on the pavement.

Who is the mysterious Phantom, and who keeps leaving the business on the pavement?
Will Merrick attend the street party, or will he get his invite to the Wedding?
Find out the answers to these and other irrelevant questions in the next thrilling episode. Soon

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