'Palming It Off On The Unions'

The Dame understood Cllr Campion to be a rational and reasonable councillor.  So she suffered a jolt to hear from a senior officer that he had joined Cockell's Jester,  Cllr Palmer,  to set up a two man team. The two man team has been set up-not to examine members' telephone charges- an area Cllr Palmer has expertise in (please explain Dame, Ed....No, Ed it could get me into trouble Dame)- but to endanger good Town Hall management/union relations. These odd bedfellows have been authorised, (one assumes by Pooter,) but if not the Dame apologises in advance, to find out whether the work union representatives do “value for money”. The team’s first meeting will be devoted to a slide show of the photos “clandestinely” taken by Clouseau (see the Dame’s evidence) of the recent Day of Action. Cllr. Palmer dismissed the offer that he would be better served by the official photographs that the union themselves took. Here is that grossly embarrassing picture of Palmer snapping union members on their Day of Action. Yes, it proves a picture is worth a thousand words!

A Giggling Buffoon

Our Council buffoon now dedicates his time to proving that paid time off for three union representatives and a small basement broom cupboard of an office is costing Council Tax payers dear. At a time when the union representatives are extremely busy negotiating the tri-borough staffing changes, new ways of working and assisting their members with relocation and redundancy, Clouseau conveniently forgets that rights of representation at such times is a statutory one. Without the union reps the Council would have to employ at least four more highly paid human resources professionals to deal with all this work. The unions also provide two extra telephone lines, one of which is totally dedicated to receiving idiotic enquiries from Palmer and his councillor colleagues. In addition, the unions subsidise the Council through a range of other facilities. No doubt all will be revealed to Inspector Clouseau once he has finished his slide show.

But how much does our very own Inspector Clouseau cost the Council? The basic allowance per councillor per annum is almost £11,000. In addition to this Clouseau gets his own computer, printer, photocopier and office space within the Members’ Room. Most of the time he has all these facilities to himself, given his colleagues’ reluctance to share the room with him. He is then able to use these facilities to support the work of Councilskills.com, whose annual accounts are now eagerly awaited. He can also( should he wish) check his share portfolio, make telephone calls,  get all his photocopying done for free and so on and so on.

So does Clouseau  provide value for money for the Council? This question has to be answered by officers and councillor colleagues. They are the ones forced to go on his councilskills.com courses. As they admit, ' we have much better and more important things to do with our time' And senior officers fear this is the wrong time to harass union officials-that sounds logical!

Lensman 'Palmer' 'on the job!