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Sunday, 20 May 2012

Breaking news.....Cllr Palmer To Launch TV Reality Show

The Dame, being fabulously rich, gets many plaintive calls from idiots wanting  finance for crazy, money vapourising ideas. So she was unsurprised to have a wheedling and grovelling Cllr Matthew Palmer dropping into her flamboyantly elegant Holland Park mansion with what he described as a 'TV reality Show Pitch'.

The Dame has often pondered the sanity of Cllr Palmer ever since he made a fool of himself as the shortest lived apprentice on hideous Lord Sugar's silly programme. However, the Dame does share Sugar's analysis of Palmer as the, 'most obnoxious man I've ever met.'
The Ward Idiot
Palmer plans to become another Simon Cowell.....with a twist! His idea is just so bizarre the Dame wonders if he is not pulling one of her elegantly turned legs!
Even Pooter Cockell understands the sheer uselessness of Palmer refusing him any job requiring judgment or intelligence.

Media Mogul Matthew Palmer
His new bonkers idea is The Barings Game. He plans to invite a number of his professional trader friends to gamble on heavily leveraged positions before the compliance officers wise up to what is going on. He describes it as, “unbridled capitalism-red in tooth and claw.” He said he got the idea when he and Mr Lightfoot screwed up on Chelsea Care!

When the Dame pointed out impoverished voters in St Charles ward might be disturbed by his concept, the booby tearfully wailed, “but the leader- a top international trader thinks it will prove very popular.” The Dame kept her counsel on Pooter's business skills.....

As Phelps, her bearded and young boy picture loving butler, shoed the hapless Palmer to the door the Dame reminded him that none of his 'business initiatives' had ever worked and best he focus his attention on retaining St Charles- his only source of stable income.


  1. This idea of dear Matthew has the spark of genius. How about one of the judges being his old friend Mr Lightfoot-and all the other 'compliance officers' who allowed millions of our money to be wasted on Chelsea Care, Holland Park Opera, Exhibition Rd, The Wedge card....the list goes on and on.....

  2. The tv world would eat him alive, if he ever got the idea into a boardroom.

  3. If this is part of his ploy to make himself a media darling to get himself re-elected, it will go badly wrong.

    Stupid stupid boy.

  4. This has to be a bad joke

    Has the Dame been over indulging again?

  5. Dame. You are being so unfair to Palmer. Pooter has entrusted him with the most important job at the court of Pooter. Official snitch.

  6. yes, easy to imagine the useless fellow listening and keyholes and looking at people's private mail in order to ingratiate himself with the ghastly Poots Cockell
    If Labour kick him out of St Charles there will be much celebration

  7. I sometimes wonder if Pooter deliberately gives Palmer tasks that will put him in a bad light. He is such a liability, better all round surely that he publicly shoots himself in the foot?

    Could be a rare example of Pooter cunning?

  8. Palmer wasn't that short lived. He actually lasted 4 tasks or so-and was probably the reason his team won in Week 1.

    What sets him apart from all the contestants that had gone before-and quite probably the ones that have followed is that Sugar said he was quite possibly the "most odious individual he had ever met"

  9. Coming from Lord Sugar, rather odious himself, this is "terminal"


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