Saturday, 11 December 2010
WestEnders Christmas Special
Once upon a time, in a borough not that far away lived poor old Widow Twanky Husband, she had a son, Quentin Aladdin, and she wore a big golden chain that was handed down to her by her forebears. Aladdin did what he could selling things to make some pennies, to keep the family drinks cabinet well stocked.
One day, while Aladdin was out on his moped he came across a mysterious stranger. The stranger was a large fellow whose smile was as big as his tummy he had dark eyes and was smartly dressed. Aladdin saw he had a honorary architectual qualification in one hand and a cheesecake in the other. "Come here boy" he said, how would you like to earn a bright new special responsibility allowance?"
"An SRA sir? Why I would love to have that" said Aladdin,
"Very good my boy, meet me tonight in the Town Hall and I'll tell you what you need to do" said the mysterious stanger, and he walked off into the distance, well, as far as the Royal Garden Hotel actually as he had a reservation with some people to give his corporate Amex card a good oiling.
Aladdin jumped back onto his moped and sped off home to tell Widow Twankey all about his eventful afternoon.
Meanwhile across town Dorothy Weatherhead had just fell out of the sky and landed on the wicked witch of westminster, Joanne Money and knocked her sparko out cold. "Serves her right for having those e-things" said Dorothy.
Dorothy looked around and saw she was in some kind of place where they played sports in North Kensington, and all the little people told her the Dear Leader at Hornton Towers in Oz is going to knock it down and build a big shiny academy instead and He never listens to them.
Dorothy was aghast and decided that something had to be done, not sure what, but something anyway. She asked all the little people how to get to Hornton Towers in Oz, and they told her to follow the yellow brick road.
With a spring in her step Dorothy set off singing as she went down the yellow brick road, in the direction of Colville and Earls Court... (get it? Yellow, Colville and Earls Court......!)
Aladdin reached home and rushed into the Parlour, just in time to see Widow Twankey collapse behind a plush sofa that had two people sat in. She hiccuped loudly as she disappeared behind the ornate piece of furniture. "Hello" said Aladdin, "Whats happening here?"
One of the guests told Aladdin that she was expecting the other guests baby and they were asking Widow Twankey for advice. "Thats great news" said Aladdin, "What will you call the little fellow?"
"Not sure yet" said the guests, just as Widow Twankey appeared for a brief moment from behind the sofa where she fell, clutching a green bottle of gin "How about, hic, Gordon" and then fell back snoring loudly.
Tune in next time when we find out what Aladdin has to do for the mysterious stranger, and will Dorothy make it to Hornton Towers in Oz in time to save the Leisure Centre?