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Wednesday, 22 February 2017


Some jealous types just don't like nepotism but from where the Dame sits there nothing wrong with giving a helping hand to one's family: in fact, her ghastly, criminal nephew, young Ludo, has had multiple life starts, thanks to Auntie's little black book.
The Evening Standard's London Night Market will be a bustling outdoor experience in an unnamed  London park inspired by a street food scene featuring 50 restaurants, food trucks, bars and live music. 

The exact location is meant to be a secret to be announced in April. 
However, the old Dame, with her unrivaled contacts amongst highest echelons of European royalty can let her lower class readers into a's going to be Perks Field!

The Dame has discovered that the Creative Director of this giant festival is Tom Parker-Bowles whose mother is the Duchess of Cornwall, step mother to Harry and Will, who live in Kensington Palace. The Dame has also discovered that Kensington Palace has applied to the Royal Borough for a licence to run a food event in Perks Field (the Palace landing field for helicopters), seven days a week with live music, for 15,000 people every day. Because it is a Royal application, the public and residents are not allowed to object.
Kensington Palace is a publicly funded 'grace and favour' residence and Kensington Gardens is a publicly funded haven of peace for hard pressed and stressed Londoners. Perks Field is a natural extension of the Park, sealed off from the public for security reasons. This profit making event will generate huge profit and create mayhem in a public park. Currently, no contribution to Park Funding is proposed but the Palace will pocket a wad of notes.
The other by-product will be that Lebedev Junior, owner of the Standard, will be able to thrill himself by hobnobbing with
What a funny old place London is when the very weird son of an ex-KGB spy is able to press the flesh of our royalty.


  1. London has always been about "contacts". It is how our City works. When your mother marries the future King her family members are suddenly perceived to have a vast wealth of patronage to tap. Wise family members (and their mentors) understand very well that huge discretion and reticence is required in order to avoid causing scandal and diminishing the Monarchy.

    This is a lesson that has clearly not been understood by Tom Parker-Bowles who appears to be peddling his new found position in a most disgraceful manner.

    1. Friend of Parker-Bowles22 February 2017 at 17:41

      Tom wishes it to be known that he is very upset by this story. His Royal contacts are entirely coincidental and have nothing to do with his employment as Creative Director of Food Month

    2. ......of course

  2. Social climbers thrive on contacts. And they know how to spot gullible idiots and use them. The Russian owner of the Evening Standard loves to see his photo in his paper hobnobbing with Royalty. He is an expert at creating London campaigns that draw in the younger Royals as "sponsors" who create photo opportunities for Eugine L.

    The latest stroke is London Food month which will be headquartered in the Kensington Palace back yard of Harry and Will. With a launch party on 7th June. Watch out for the front page of the Evening Standard on 8th June. There will be a front page picture of the two Princes shaking hands with Lebedev as they open the show. The front page is already booked....

  3. This project is ill-judged on every level.

  4. It is hardly believable that when the Royal Palace applies for a license to hold a public event, the public and residents are barred from making an objection.

    What is the point of making the application other than a job creation exercise for Officers in Hornton Street? The whole process is a time consuming exercise that requires many hours of work - phantom application, phantom discussions, phantom records, phantom permissions. We should save Council Tax and let the Royals do whatever they want to do. The w

  5. Licensing permission will not be granted by the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea until late March so that Officers can take time to consider the application and pretend that they have a say in the matter.

    In the meantime, the owner of the Evening Standard is so certain of the "nod and wink" that he has received from poodle Tom Parkit-Bowles that he makes a headline announcement in his paper in Febraury that the "secret venue in a London Park" will be announced in April.

    Logistical planning and contracts for this shindig started six months ago

    1. Kensington Resident22 February 2017 at 21:42

      Even though residents and members of the public cannot object to a license application from a Royal Palace, there is the possibility of an objection from the police and the Council.

      Residents are the business of the Council and for this case Leader Paget-Brown should instruct his Officers to issue a robust objection based on noise disturbance and desecration of a park area in the Royal Borough.

  6. When music festivals and the like take place in our parks it is the accepted custom that the organisers contribute a portion of their profits to the park maintenance fund. The fee paying and profit making Kensington Palace event that will spearhead FOOD MONTH should make a contribution to Kensington Gardens Park management and this should be announced in the Evening Standard

    1. Startled Resident (Tory)22 February 2017 at 17:38

      Forget it. The Palace will pocket the profits to help pay for William's Grace and Favour pad. He recently gave up his job to spend more time with the family. So we should expect a bigger draw down of public funds to make up for the lost income.

    2. Lazy bugger

    3. Pigs will fly

    4. Prince William has slipped into a freeloading lifestyle that will rebound on him in years to come when he will be branded the "prince of laziness". He does no work apart from the occasional Royal outing to the Albert Hall (100 yards down the road) to arrive and watch the BAFTA.


  7. Lebedev knows how to flatter gullible idiots like Parker-Bowles. Today in the Evening Standard Parker-Bowles was given the prized diary position of "Quote of the day". At the Fortnum and Mason launch of Food Month, Parker-Bowles sang for his supper. "London is unquestionably the greatest eating city on Earth" he chirped.

    What price, Judas?

    1. Foot and Mouth Parker-Bowles

  8. Parker-Bowles has been cuckolded


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