Dear Dame,
There I was innocently trying to post a get-well card to a dear friend when I found the letter box sealed off and looking like an action painting by Jackson Pollock.
While standing there in bemusement, it hit me: no, not an idea but the first cluster bomb dropped by the flock of incontinent pigeons roosting in the lone tree in front of Gloucester Road Station.
That was just the beginning of the barrage ...
What is this !?
Contrary to a public misconception, pigeon poo is NOT lucky, but stinky , disgusting and potentially can carry over 50 communicable diseases and parasites.
But why are the pigeons roosting in that inconvenient place? Because there never seems to be a shortage of fools, self-appointed "wildlife guardians", who take it upon themselves to drag large bags of stale bread and the like to the station forecourt to feed our "poor feathered friends" and whose left-overs provide a welcome smorgasbord for the nightly rat population.Strange how they never feed the pigeons in front of their own houses.
Sadly the Council's response to this health hazard has been consistently feeble:a small sign admonishing the dyed-in-the-wool pigeon fanciers not to feed the pigeons, when enforced PSPOs would be more appropriate ...
Darling Dame, do you have any ideas? Pray tell. In the meantime, please do not be surprised, if you spot me in that locale brandishing an open umbrella even on a sunny day ... Pigeon poo is so dreadfully hard to remove from one's Chanel jacket.
With warmest regards,
Your long-standing friend
Nemesis
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