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Monday, 9 December 2013

Moylan and Palmer...Tears Before Bedtime!

Often the Dame is called upon to 'play mother' to tearful councillors, seeking solace in her very ample bosoms. 
Most whimper about how their talents have never been recognised by the likes of Pooter Cockell

Thus, she was unfazed when her major domo, Mr Phelps, tapped on the door of her magnificent 'Louis Quinze style' boudoir to announce Councillor Palmer.

She had been expecting him to drop by since hearing the 'man love' between him and 'Danny Boys' Moylan was fast evaporating.
Cllr Palmer sobbed as he told the Dame, "I have been canvassing like mad all over Queen's Gate and I thought that Cllr Moylan would help me, but he is such a snob and says it's beneath him to talk to voters. 
When I was in the Young Conservatives we all had jolly good fun canvassing, then hitting the pub for a beer or two. 
When I told Cllr Moylan he just sneered and said he never went to's just not fair, Dame".
The Dame, handed the councillor one of her elaborately monogrammed lawn cotton handkerchiefs and explained.....
"Cllr Palmer, I fear you have misinterpreted Cllr Danny Boys motives in inflicting you on the genteel people of Queen's Gate." 
The Dame went on, "Cllr Danny Boys is a self important £155,000 a year local government magnate with powerful friends. 
He has no time to waste meeting boring residents. 
It's your job to deal with the local get on with it and stop whining."


  1. Poor old Matthew

  2. A Tory Councillor actually canvassing in Queens Gate is probably a first.

  3. ...but very scary seeing that oaf on your doorstep. I wonder how many people actually open the door after they have peered through the spyhole?

    1. Don't worry. The servants can get rid of the riff-raff.

    2. If they open the door they'll probably regret it. I doubt Mathew's conversation skills are up to debating Council policy with residents.

  4. he was probably getting rid of old flyers for his websites about inter-marital shagging or whatever it was

    1. From memory he was trying to put himself forward as some kind of expert on fertility. He had finally managed to reproduce and was about to put his new found skills to commercial use by advising the less well informed. Or something.

    2. Inter marital shagging?

      Has Mathew really been upholding the proud traditions of the Tory party?

  5. Yes, Matthew had linked his Council Skills website to a sort of shagging site....vile beast!

    1. Is this really the kind of person they want in Queens Gate?

    2. Council Skills = inter marital shagging? Who could have guessed?

      If anyone has ever wondered why Palmer was a less than effective Councillor they need look no further. His mind was clearly not on the job (well not the right one anyway).

  6. The local Tory party really needs to have a long hard think about the kind of people they're selecting as Councillors/potential Councillors.

    First we had Phelps - a perv.

    Then we had Lloyd North - a gay porn star that very nearly became a Councillor for Brompton.

    Then we had Lamont - a criminal perv.

    And now we hear about Mathew - into inter marital shagging.


    Someone really needs to have a long hard look at those selection procedures.


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