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Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Let them eat cake-as long as they bake it....Post Riot Reaction

"Operation Cup of Tea' brought Portobello businesses, market stallholders, local politicians and the public together to have a cuppa, eat some cake and discuss the events of the previous days"

So reported Herr von Cockell's  £3.5 million a year Propaganda Unit run by his doppelganger, Mr Fitzpatrick.
The event was graced by Herr Leader and local Invisible MP, Malcolm Rifkind, kindly squeezing in 3 minutes between his many board meetings.

 Left: An Invisible MP from Scotland

In fact, both need not have bothered turning up-few residents did from what the Dame heard. Worse that that, not one paper local or national picked up the self proclaimed "Story of the Week"
The Dame was even tipped off that some ungrateful and insolent residents barracked Herr Leader with shouts of, 'it's alright for you, Cockle-we're paying you £2,600 a week' as he sped off in the £150,000 100 litre V60 RBKC 1 Bentley.
Imagine the 'behind the scenes' planning..... "Fitzpatrick, we need a clever initiative to show we really care about all those people in the far distant north of the Rotten Borough-what shall we do to make them  feel we care. And of course we don't want to have to pay for anything". "Herr Leader, I have a truly brilliant idea. Let's make them cook the cakes and make big pots of tea and then you just wander around looking concerned.We can put it up on our website as 'STORY OF THE WEEK'. I have even found a resident who will prostrate himself at your feet in gratitude for your august presence saying he never knew you cared(some mistake there. ed)
Glowing with pride Herr Leader clapped him on the back..."well done Fitzpatrick:you are thinking 'Ze Blitz Spirit.' With all those cups of tea and cakes they will forget we are raising parking charges; that the Wedge has been a total disaster, and my friend Dave Cameron has done nothing to reduce business tax".
They may even forget that I am pulling in £2,600 'big ones' a week.....

Left: Typical cake eating scene in Portobello


  1. I hear that Rifkind was also yelled at, for doing sweet fa about helping local businesses. Not quite the welcome they imagined, though as you say, the £1m/year propaganda machine dealt admirably with that.

  2. Hi, just to say that I volunteered at this event all day and it's sad to see it so negatively talked about here. It was enormously well attended all day and was a true joint effort by local people, local charities, local businesses and several council officers. So many people said what a lovely idea it was and that it gave them a lot of hope and new friends were made. The idea came from the community itself - through a twitter trending topic - and had almost nothing to do with the press team or the leader. It's a shame to see even genuine and valued community events trashed...

  3. Some advice from an Aide of the Dame...
    It was not 'trashed' as you so emotively put it.The council PR gave every impression that the initiative came from the Leader and his PR. You need to make clear to them that you did not like the way they tried to hijack 'YOUR event

  4. The press release (available here: states accurately that:

    "The event was organised in just 48 hours by the Council and the Volunteer Centre Kensington and Chelsea. Nearly 40 volunteers helped out throughout the day, brewing 1,500 cups of tea and serving many biscuits and cakes as people chatted and got to know each other"

    A quote from the Leader is included and it also accurately states that both the Leader and the MP attended (the MP as part of a broader programme of visits to youth services and several others thoroughout the day, which was the primary purpose of his visit).

    I'm not sure how else it could give 'every impression' other than a very cynical viewpoint that is looking for it.

    Finally, there is some useful and accurate coverage in the K&C Chronicle of the event - the reporter Emma, was actually at the event all day volunteering:

  5. A further comment from the Dame...
    She says,"Herr Leader has done nothing for the north of the Borough and, until quite recently, nothing to help the market stall holders. Similarly, nothing to help struggling small business. His stupid idea of the Wedge is a flop and his increase in parking charges and harassment by wardens has driven business from Potobello. As for Rifkind, he is an indolent bugger who never holds surgeries and has given no support to local business"
    He saw your initiative( a good one) as a chance to ingratiate himself with locals. BTW are you from the Propaganda Unit?"

  6. What happened to the post I made yesterday in response? I hope I didn't use the comment feature wrong...

    No, I'm not.

  7. Try reposting....we have nothing from yesterday


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