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Saturday 13 August 2011

Advice to a useless young man






The Dame's useless, unqualified, unpleasant & unemployable nephew, Cosmo, has been sponging off his aunt and invited himself and friends for the summer. Anyway, the boy has been picking the Dame's brains seeing how he could build a career which did not:
a. require too much hard work and....
b. possibly earn him a knighthood-or better still, a place in the Lords so he could collect a £300 daily allowance.
The Dame was flummoxed by his question. How in these tough days-apart from, as she did marrying money, could such good fortune be achieved....then she had a brainwave....Calling Cosmo into her boudoir she gave him some ideas. 'Dear Boy, it's clear that you are what is known as an 'unachiever' but all is not lost: you must get yourself into local government'. Dilating on her brain wave the Dame pointed out the huge income being generated by her cigar smoking friend Herr Leader Cockleburger. From the Rotten Borough the Herr Leader is 'pulling in' a daily £673 a day for his 2 days a week, whilst from the Local Government Association he is taking £509 daily. The Dame also understands that Herr Leader is lobbying furiously, but discreetly, to get himself into the Lords. If he pulls this off he will have really hit the jackpot pushing his income to well in excess of 'Dave' Cameron at nearly £170,000 a year-plus some chunky expenses. No wonder people think that this sort of work should be renamed 'private' rather than 'public service'! Now the Dame is as capitalistic as the next one but even she wonders whether local government entrepreneurs should milk the system in this way.

Posted by the Dame in the

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