POOTER COCKELL SAYS HE IS PRIME MINISTER!

Pooter Cockell has just ordered this to be put up on the RBK&C website....
It is hilarious....a failed fag salesman running an economy bigger than most small countries....terrifying thought for 2013...

As his very dear friend ex Mayor and young boy obsessed emailer, Barry Phelps would say...."You could not make it up".......

More succinctly a resident summed it up...."deluded pygmies"!

A DELUDED PYGMY POOTER COCKELL

1. Leader of the Council

Cllr Sir Merrick Cockell is effectively the borough’s Prime Minister, in charge of one of the most popular places to live, work and visit in the country. He is responsible for an area with a local economy which produces more revenue than many small countries. His role makes him an influential figure in London.

2. Planning Policy

Kensington and Chelsea is reported to have a greater land value than the whole of Northern Ireland. Cllr Ahern is in charge of setting the policy framework within which the borough is developed.

THE DAME CHALLENGES JONATHAN BORE

THE DAME'S ADVICE TO MR BORE

Jonathan Bore is Planning Supremo at Kensington and Chelsea. He is a professional with many years experience as a town planner. Previous to RBK&C he held a senior position with The Planning Inspectorate. He does not need to bow to the will of a self interested councillor.

He and his Department have been strong-armed by Cllr Cockell into putting forward a proposal to their own Planning Committee. The proposal is that the canopy in Holland Park-used for just seven summer weeks for the opera-should become a permanent eyesore in this beautiful park.

Residents, the Friends of Holland Park and the Kensington Society are boiling over with rage at the very idea of desecrating this beautiful landscape and the view of Holland House.

What is happening is the usual nonsense from overstay  leader Cllr Cockell. Cockell is engaged in his well-known political maneuverings to try and save Opera Holland Park from the financial abyss.

The jumped up Pooter Cockell fancies himself as a Medici figure using millions of our council tax to burnish his amour-propre

Thanks to the Dame residents are up in arms about Cockell’s duplicitous idea to "privatise" the opera using our money.

Predictably, the new owners have found that they can’t make ends even see each other…. let alone meet!

The first gambit is to keep the tent up all year round in order to save £100k: the cost of erecting it and taking it down each and every year.

Then they will request an extension to the 'season'.....already OHP has requested permission for Christmas performances. 

Pooter, of course, has bullied his Planning Department to go along with all of this.

Mr Bore. This is an abuse of process….. an abuse of the system….and...above all…. an abuse of your office.

It is time for you to say "enough is enough".

A DESPERATE PLEA FROM HOLLAND HOUSE

FRIENDS OF HOLLAND DEMAND ACTION!

CLICK ON COPY TO ENLARGE

THE BIZARRE LOGIC OF CLLR 'BETSY' CAMPBELL!

AN OFFICER WRITES......

Cllr 'Betsy' "not very nice and very dim" Campbell delivered a Christmas present to all the young children in the Rotten  Borough just before Christmas. Something nice to shove under tree perhaps? Not exactly...'Betsy' loves to model herself on Lady Thatcher which causes us all huge ribaldry!

'BETSY' CAMPBELL-NO MARGARET THATCHER!

Renowned by us officers for being wide of the mark on most things, Betsy pointed out that there are 30 unused "children in need" places at the boroughs eight children centres. 
These centres provide vital services for children, and for "children in need" as even the ludicrous Campbell should have been able to work out.

Startling to read though, is the mathematics.Surely even dim-witted Betsy could surely figure the figures?

She says there are 30 unused "children in need" spaces 

so intends to reduce the provision from 111 to 70. 

A reduction of 41...

So if 41 spaces are removed-and currently only 30 are unused, that means 11 kids are going to have their spaces swept away. 

So what happens to them if they need the space next year? Or if there is a sudden influx?

Over to you Betsy ...........

Read it here

OPERA HOLLAND PARK GIVES PARK LOVERS VILE CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

CANOPY IN THE PARK

The Dame hears Opera Holland Park have applied to the Rotten Borough for planning permission to leave their ugly canopy as a permanent fixture in the glorious landscape of Holland Park. 
What a  vile Christmas present to Park lovers! 
Residents have already forked out millions to keep the massive loss maker going. 
Now, instead of the ghastly thing being stored off site, it will be left standing...a permanent blot on the landscape and a monument to the artistic pretensions of Pooter Cockell...our ex fag salesman leader!
The Dame hears that the application will be a mere formality and permission granted with little dissent. 

Democracy...Cockell Style!

CLLR PALMER IS AMAZED!

Cllr 'Madcap' Palmer has written to all councillors... and even included the Dame in his diatribe.The Dame wishes he would get one of his colleagues to vet his output...this one is embarrassing to the Conservative Party and seems to have been written by fourteen year old...

"It amazes me the depths at which the Labour party will stoop. This latest newsletter  is part of a long line of lies your party  have told.   Cllr Coleridge has a valid point but he is too polite in saying how your party operates.

You say my newsletters are  “misleading, abusive and inaccurate” please show me where?

For example here is a link to two pages of my previous newsletter.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/64098788@N04/5835694070/in/photostream/

In it, I clearly call your party liars, if that is not the case please tell me where there is any mistake.

A much better way forward is that your party did not print / say out right lies, that I and the Conservative group have to go around correcting whist telling residents your party are liars.  ??????

Happy Christmas

Cllr Palmer"

POOTER PONTIFICATES ON MORALITY!

Setting an example....moral or otherwise... is something Pooter Cockell has never found easy. 

Whether flying Virgin Upper Class to pointless meetings in the US or splurging $400 on dinners with mystery guests or staying in luxury hotels, Cockell excels at living the high life 'on the tax.'

His Declaration of Interests informs us his only income is provided by hard pressed taxpayers, so it is us mugs who pay for his stylish and extravagant life!

Cockell has one rule for himself and one for others. 

When Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, warned local authorities they have a "moral duty" not to raise council tax Pooter was in there quick questioning Mr Pickles’s claims of “moral duty”

Pooter then talks about the responsibility councils have to protect the vulnerable. Is he talking about himself?After all he is reliant on the Council!!

Our very part time leader of K&C enjoys a luxurious life- courtesy off our backs. He actually manages to squeeze more from the taxpayer than the bloated Pickles….nearly £3,000 a week, plus his huge ex's

£100K MOTORS

Senior staff and cabinet members are some of the highest paid in the land, yet RBK&C is the easiest of any council to manage. 

So rich is the Council, with over £170 million of our money in reserves, it has to find ways of getting rid of it-hence the £100 million follies of Holland Park School and Opera Holland Park. OHP has now cost taxpayers millions. But the real slap in the face to taxpayer is the £27 million oil stained Exhibitionist Rd and the £1 million pound Olympics party held in August.

What would the useless Pickles say about Pooter's recent largesse of £45,000 of taxpayer's money to help us all understand gay and lesbian issues in the Middle East?

'PULPED FICTION' BY CLLR PALMER

LOCAL IDIOT

A kind reader sent the Dame this picture of Cllr Palmer. In his paw he clutches a petition he organised to stop Sainsburys taking over the North Pole pub. 

A group of committed locals had slaved and sweated to collect the 2,000 signatures. 

Sadly, their efforts were in vain....Cllr 'Brainbox' Palmer had managed to muddle the fact that it was Tesco-not Sainsbury who were going to close down the pub. 

The result? A furious group of residents.... a very upset Sainsburys and a pulped petition!

THE DAME & CLLR PALMER

Councillor Matthew Palmer is a very strange fellow. He  constantly opines the Dame is unread and has no influence. Yet, on a daily basis, he uses the Hornet to air his madcap opinions. 

CLLR MATTHEW PALMER

Of late, some of his comments have verged on the defamatory and the Dame has been forced to remove the wilder ones. 
He is clearly trying to replace Cllr Feilding Mellen as Pooter's favourite: it will not work...
In fact, Pooter has intimated he does not quite know what to do with his looney 'loose cannon.'
Doubtless Palmer will bore us all with his view that the Dame is politically partisan and engages in censorship. In doing so he will ignore the fact that the Dame has attacked the Lib Dems and the Labour Group. In fact, the Dame gave Cllr Blakeman such a roasting that she ended up in Private Eye!

The Dame is relentless in her attacks on the Majority Group and will call them to account when they transgress our rights and waste our money.

The Dame is politically neutral but she will not stand by whilst residents have their pockets picked and their rights abused  by an out of control council.

NO JOKE! CLLR COCKELL SEEKS 'MR INDEPENDENT'

The Dame has had her attention drawn to an advertisement ordered by Sir Pooter Cockell. It is for  Mr or Mrs 'Ethical'. 

EX MAYOR OF RBKC...ETHICAL CHAP

Sir Pooter tells us it is to ensure that the Council maintains its 'high ethical standards'-and to ensure, one assumes, that councillors, like ex Lamont and Phelps, are kept out!

So who will appoint this paragon? We all know how the late and unlamented Standards Committee was stuffed with Pooters' poodles so we can assume that this appointment will be overseen by Pooter...what a waste of time!

Pooter tells us...

.....we also wish to recruit someone with both an understanding of people, behaviour and what motivates them. These are the qualities.....

• fair-mindedness and impartiality
• mature and sound temperament
• good communication skills
• commitment and reliability

.....qualities generally unseen amongst the current bunch of councillors! Hopefully, whoever is chosen, will revisit some of Pooter's lavish expenses to prepare him/her for the job!

What a joke....

THE £170,000 A YEAR COST OF COCKELL

Thanks to an FOI placed by the Dame's collaborator, Justin Downes, we can reveal the full cost to Kensington and Chelsea taxpayers of supporting the very part time leader, Sir Pooter Cockell.

THE POOTER SUPPORT TEAM!

Pooter decided he needed a Head of Office...gross cost  £60,000 a year. Click here Head of Office to read all about it

The ad even promises a bonus, though it is difficult to envisage the performance criteria on which the bagcarrier's bonus will be triggered

He then decreed someone of his magnificence required a Personal Assistant....gross cost £40,000 a year

And now we turn to Pooter himself. For being a part time leader this quite unqualified chap strong armed his colleagues into paying him a mind boggling gross £76,000 a year

So the taxpayers of K&C end up having to pay £3,300 per week to keep this pompous fellow feeling important. At least he now admits he is forbidden the use of the Bentley....unless with Buffy Buckmaster!

FARAGE FORAGE IN K&C

POOTER'S DER HAUPTSITZ

The Dame is frequently party to top quality political intelligence and one particular piece should cause fear and trembling in the Pooter Cockell's Hornton St penthouse office(jocularly, he refers to it as 'Der Hauptsitz', to reflect his  German origins). 

Farage boasts he intends targeting certain key wards in the Rotten Borough. His logic is that there is significant latent UKIP support if he presents quality candidates.( they can't be worst than the present bunch of wallies. ed) 

By dislodging Conservative councillors he thinks he can strike deep into the Conservative heartland-easily and at no great cost.
It sounds a long shot to the Dame, but in this topsy-turvy world anything is possible. 
If successful, he boasts, it will demoralise Cameron.

FARAGE PLOTTING AGAINST POOTER

The Dame hears Farage is plotting get himself around the Rotten Borough in an effort to promote the UKIP message and build up a support base. 
This is all scheduled to take place sometime in March....

PORKER'S PORKIE PIES......

Boris is just a disaster at people picking. Clearly Greenhalgh did what he apologises for: why else would he apologise?

He says he has no recollection of having touched the staff member. Do we deduce from this he makes a habit of this bizarre and pathetic practice. 

Boris....fire the guy now! He has already proven to be unfit for purpose.

"Boris Johnsons's policing chief issued an apology today after claims that he inappropriately touched a female worker in a City Hall lift reports The Standard.

VERY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR

Stephen Greenhalgh allegedly touched the junior staff member’s bottom. The 46-year-old father of three, who oversees the Met, says he has “no recollection” of the incident, which is believed to have taken place several weeks ago.

But today he apologised “unreservedly” for “anything that could be or may have been construed as inappropriate behaviour on my part”. The Mayor is understood to be angry that the situation has arisen and also to be concerned for the wellbeing of the woman".

EXHIBITION RD OLYMPICS PARTY COSTS £1 MILLION!

£ 1 MILLION BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES

When criticised about the vast £25 million cost of Exhibition Rd Cllr Nick Paget-Brown excused it on the grounds it was planned and agreed before the financial meltdown.

This Council’s lawless spending is only paralleled by some of the more extreme Labour and idiotically run Lib Dem councils….

So you would think, having faced an onslaught of criticism over this utter waste of £25 million there would be some trepidation about adding insult to injury? Not a bit.

A WELL ATTENDED 'EVENT' FUNDED BY THE MILLION POUNDS

A Freedom of Information Act request reveals the Council spent £1 million on a series of ‘events’, with Exhibition Rd as the centrepiece, during the Olympics. 

The total cost breaks down as £771,000 with another £132,000 coming from an unspecified grant….source unknown…..

The Council projected that between 10-15,000 visitors a day would traipse up down the oil splattered road looking at the various third rate ‘manifestations’. 
The projection was 100% out!

Instead of the 90,000-135,000 visitors projected only 60,000 turned up:in other words each visitor was subsidised by the RBK&C taxpayer to the tune of £17 per visitor

There are soup kitchens operating in the Royal Borough manned by Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Sikh faith groups. They say they are struggling to keep the poor fed.  One wonders how these groups feel about a Council, seemingly existing in a parallel universe, wasting a million pounds on a total farce.

As a Conservative I feel deeply embarrassed.