Sunday, 8 March 2015

LAURA TROTT WANTS TO TROT DOWN TO KENSINGTON

For the dear old Dame Sundays are sacrosanct: she is never to be disturbed, particularly when on her fourth pre-lunch dry martini.
Colour coded telephone
When factotum, disgraced ex cllr Phelps, tiptoed in with the ormolu mounted Faberge style telephone she shooed him away. 
"Madam, it is nice young Mr Osborne who gave you such a generous discount on the wall coverings".
DITZY CAMDEN GIRL
Relenting the Dame took the speaking apparatus expecting young Osborne to be trying to sell her yet more flock wallpaper.
Instead he tried to bully the Dame into supporting some flighty young blonde wannabe MP called Laura Trott. 
According to one of the Dame's Bridge partners young Osborne has been calling all the Kensington Osborne & Little clients and bullying them into supporting M/S Trott.
Mr Osborne told the Dame M/S Trott advised his boss on wimmins' issues and how to 'make do'.
According to young Osborne Conservative Central HQ knew what was best for the people of Kensington.
The Dame was having none of it. 
Furious, she told young Osborne the people of Kensington wanted no ditzy young thing from Camden Town thrust upon them and to cease his irritating lobbying forthwith.

21 comments:

  1. A friend of mine got a call....quite outrageous behaviour. We have perfectly good candidate in Victoria Borwick

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    Replies
    1. Who is Laura Trott?

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    2. Oh for goodness sake. Osborne and Cameron should keep out of local affairs in Kensington

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  2. Col. Blimp [retired]8 March 2015 at 22:42

    Well said Sir. I met Osborne once. Unimpressive.

    As for his protege, both young persons would be well advised to keep their noses out of our proudly rotten borough.

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    Replies
    1. Kensington has enough dolly birds of its own without bringing in low life from Campden

      I ask you......

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  3. Lord Eustace Vane8 March 2015 at 22:55

    I really don't think she would 'fit in'.
    She looks a charming young filly, but frankly if she only knows about cake making then she probably won't be of much use.
    My advice would be that she go for a more leafy suburban constituency.

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    Replies
    1. Kensington does not have "womens issues", which Ms Trott seems to be the expert on. We have mansion tax issues, buy to leave issues, low cost housing issues, basement issues, elderly issues, underprivileged issues. The kind of issues that need a track record of experience and empathy established over many years "on the ground" in Kensington.

      What does this IT girl have to offer other than an eyelash flutter to Mr Osborne? More evidence of the pathetic behaviour that Kensington is "the gift of Central Office". Well it is not. It is the choice of Kensington voters,

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    2. "Womens' issues"? Is she a gynecologist?

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  4. As someone very involved in local residents affairs Victoria Borwick has all the credentials to make an ideal candidate for Kensington



    As someone very involved in local residents affairs Victoria Borwick ticks all the boxes to be the ideal candidate to represent Kensington

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    Replies
    1. no she does not

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    2. A sad whimper from Cllr Palmer!

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  5. Why on earth is Central Office interfering in the affairs Kensington?

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  6. Keep trotting La La. All the way to Bethnal Green please

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    Replies
    1. And don't stop there - continue to the Hebrides. HQ fodder not welcome in Ladbroke Grove

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  7. Fly On The Wall9 March 2015 at 09:24

    Looks like Osborne is taking a dump.

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  8. Last week 134 people on the candidates list applied to become the new MP for Kensington. By Friday evening, Central Office (Patrick Jenkin MP and Grant Shapps, Party Chairman) reduced the list to 30 which was sent out to the Prime Minister and two other Cabinet Ministers for the final selection of a short list of 6. This was dubbed the weekend "countdown" of intense lobbying and horse trading. It is understood that the Prime Minister and the Chancellor had both "let it be known" who they wanted to see in the list of 30.

    The final short list of 6 will be finalised late on Tuesday afternoon (tomorrow) and on Tuesday evening the Kensington Conservative Association will be asked to choose three candidates from the list of 6 before an open selection is carried out on the evening Friday 13th March at the Town Hall in Kensington.

    The Chairman of the Kensington Conservative Association communicated to Central Office that Kensington would like to see local candidates on the short list of 6 and also candidates who would be expected to "fly the flag" for Kensington. HQ was also reminded that the Kensington Association is a heavy funder of Central Office.

    Not long to wait.

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    Replies
    1. Politics is a devious game and often based on the art of indirect action. In the circumstances Laura Trott sounds like an unlikely candidate for Kensington. More like a stalking horse for the true candidate that Osborne is pushing whose identity he will not want to become public before the time is right. ie a smokescreen

      In the meantime, if Laura Trott hears that the Chancellor has been pushing her name, she feels good and indebted to her Patron. A win win for Tory HQ.

      And Kensington is screwed. Again

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    2. Grant Shapps - The idiot responsible for the state of housing in the UK - just what we need in K and C , an unsympathetic automaton on the planning committee.

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    3. How can Mole possibly know that information? Someone has clearly for their hands on some confidential info

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    4. There are a plethora of candidates who are likely to be far more appropriate than MS Trott who looks like she just left school.

      I read in the Telegraph that James Cracknell has put his name forward.

      Kensington is a top seat for the Conservatives. I think they should select a national figure to represent it. I suspect that Mr Cracknell will be my choice if he is available and makes a half decent presentation

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    5. So a rower is now a 'national figure'....

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