CONSERVATIVE HOME CALLS FOR LGA TO BE WOUND UP

Why is Eric Pickles still giving the Local Government Association £25.5 million of our money?




Just as the Dame predicted defections from the Local Government Association, chaired by our squatting leader, "Prime Minister' Pooter Cockell, are coming thick and fast. Brighton & Hove have now given the LGA the elbow saving themselves £80,000 a year. The floodgates are open....

It leads residents to ponder how much the Rotten Borough is paying the useless LGA....an FOI someone please. 

The Dame suspects that it is well in excess of £100,000 a year...still it helps to pay Pooter's huge stipend. 
Time for the pathetic Lib Dems to join Labour and demand that residents cease having to pay out for this hopeless quango

Even Conservative Home are campaigning to abolish this ludicrously expensive and 'unfit for purpose' LGA

Maybe no one needs to do anything: it seems like the LGA is self destructing

MR MYERS GETS BEGGING LETTERS!

The Evening Standard article on Mr Myer's huge 'package' has caused the poor of the parish of K&C and H&F to send begging letters to the Town Hall.....what impertinence!
Mole in the Hole, who provides the Dame with very witty cartoons, sent the Dame this beauty. For a simple mole his accompanying observation makes total sense...
Even Pooter is becoming jealous of Mr Myers, our local government tycoon!

Dearest Dame –

I find it ironic that the argument for paying council chief executives exorbitant salaries and bonuses is because “we need to attract the cream of people from the public sector” – but none of the recipients of these stipends have ever worked in said sector!

Anyway, I vent my molish spleen in this week’s cartoon.

Have a good Easter.

Yours, molishly,

The Mole in the Hole

8 MAJOR CITY COUNCILS LEAVE COCKELL'S LGA-20 COUNCILS SERVE NOTICE TO QUIT

The Dame has not been alone in declaring Cockell's other income generator, that useless quango, the LGA, to be a complete waste of millions. That opinion has at last been vindicated...
It's been a bad week for our PM. 
Eight of Britain's greatest cities have told Pooter that they can do without his services. This brings the total of councils leaving to twenty! As we know, when this sort of exodus occurs the floodgates open.

I've still got ten members left!

The Local Government Association supports our Prime Minister's household paying him £60,000 a year:they may now be regretting selecting this accident prone fellow.....

To rub salt in the wound Pooter’s fat friend, Mr Pickles, just announced that he was cutting £2 million of LGA funding. 

Were that not bad enough eight of England’s leading cities, including Newcastle, have given notice that they would be giving up their LGA membership. 

Birmingham, Bristol, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Newcastle, Nottingham and Sheffield have decided to leave the LGA. They sneeringly claim that their own lobby, “Core Cities’ was better equipped to win lucrative ‘city deals’.

These ‘core cities’are the main drivers of the UK economy.  

With the quitting of these ‘power cities’ the reign of Pooter has seen twenty councils fleeing his bloated and flaccid quango.

A furious Merrick Cockell described the Departmental cut as "completely unexpected". 

His 'talking head' said, "The extremely short timeframe makes it very difficult to plan the necessary savings. We have already made more than £16m in cuts over the last four years ... it is astonishing that the government has announced this cut just two weeks ahead of the start of the financial year."

So much for Pooter having mates in high places.....

A YORKSHIRE WINDBAG

POINTLESS PICKLES

What is the point of Eric Pickles?

Our Secretary of State for Communities is impotent. All his ‘directives’ to councils are sneeringly ignored

It’s all very upsetting and leaves poor old Pickles blubbing away to Dave Cameron that no one listens to him.

Dave only bought the 'big fella’' on board thinking it would look good to have a large Yorkshire pudding speaking authentic Yorkshire thus dispelling the idea he was snooty.

It just has not happened…

Here is a list of some of  the Pickles’ directives and the reaction from councils.

......Councils should use their vast reserves to buttress themselves against cuts to frontline services…..ignored, especially by the Rotten Borough sitting on £170 million

....he then tells councils that that no director should earn more than his new best friend Dave C. The Dame seems to remember that Mr Myers rudely told him it was none of his business and they would pay themselves what they wished

....then he decides that councils should not be spending millions on translation services….again, ignored.

...he turns his attention to councils refusing to freeze council tax….again ignored!

 .....double jobbing by councilors really angers Mr Pickles. Stop it he commands! 

Does anyone take any notice? Certainly not Danny 'Boys' Moylan and our 'Prime Minister'….they blithely continue with their lucrative double jobbing.

...the Rotten Borough manages to fund absurdities like the £23 million Exhibition Rd through punitive parking enforcement: enforcement that drives trade from local shops. Pickles tells councils to cease draconian parking enforcement to help local business. Well, we all know in K&C enforcement is so intense shops, already savaged by huge business rates, are closing down.... one after the other.

PRACTICAL GIVING

A kind hearted resident sent the Dame this heartwarming story. It shows the sheer decency of humankind. It is also a very innovative idea......

A ROYAL BOROUGH RESIDENT...OLD AND COLD

This story will warm you better than a coffee in a cold winter day:
"We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. 



While we're approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter -
'Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended'
They pay for their order, take the two and leave. I ask my friend:
'What are those 'suspended' coffees ?'
'Wait for it and you will see'
Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers - three for them and four 'suspended'. While I still wonder what's the deal with those 'suspended' coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square in front of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the door and kindly asks
'Do you have a suspended coffee ?'

It's simple - people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal."

DEREK MYERS EARNING MORE THAN DAVID CAMERON!

According  Pippa Crerar in the Standard London council bosses are creaming it in.....she writes that most London council bosses received pay, perks and pensions of £200,000 each. 

It was no great surprise that the porcine looking Myers had pushed his peers out of the way in order to get next to the trough. 

One of the great myths council bosses like to promulgate is that they have to be paid these vast sums of money-if not  they would be poached by the private sector....as the Dame's vulgar nephew. Ludo, would say..."they got to be havin' a larf'....(yes, he tends to affects this dreadful way of speaking)

In fact, there has never been an instance of a council chief being poached by a private company...who would want one!

The Dame was talking to one well known City grandee resident who had this to say.....

"Since when has the private sector looked to Council chiefs to find "talent"? They are very skilled at spending"other peoples money" but would have no idea of how to generate income...spending money is what they are good for"

Councils claim they need to offer generous pay packages to attract the best talent from the private sector, but none of these people would get a comparable position in the private sector....least of all Myers-a social worker made very good....thanks to his equally over compensated mate, Prime Minister Pooter. One wonders if it's a case of back scratching...

Town halls across London spent almost £7 million on chief executive pay packages last year with some of the country’s poorest boroughs paying the biggest sums

THEY ARE ALL AT IT TOGETHER!

Unsurprisingly the biggest earner was Derek Myers, who runs Hammersmith and Fulham as well as Kensington and Chelsea council, on £266,991. His take-home package included £209,800 salary, £10,500 bonus and £46,700 towards his pension pot.

Other chiefs — all in Tory-run boroughs — were close behind with Paul Martin at Wandsworth picking up £254,880, Nick Walkley at Barnet collecting £250,818 and Will Tuckley at Bexley receiving £244,897.

K&C PLANNERS WILL NEED TO GEAR UP FOR THE STAMPEDE!

From The Guardian

Iceberg homes: how basements of the rich cause hell for their neighbours

To get around planning regulations, the wealthy in areas such as Kensington and Chelsea dig huge basements that cause building chaos and even subsidence

Hidden world: how an 'iceberg home' can look.

Age: As old as the world's first wine cellar.

Appearance: Just like any other mansion.

What are iceberg homes? Homes like icebergs.

Freezing cold? No.

Prone to sinking cruise liners? Not quite.

Melting? Not really. It's called an iceberg home because, as with an iceberg, quite a lot more of it is lurking beneath the surface.

And where are these iceberg homes lurking? All over – and, crucially, under – London's Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. The city's super-rich have been digging down beneath their townhouses to make space for subterranean swimming pools, gyms, cinemas, ballrooms and servants' quarters, much to the consternation of their neighbours.

Why are the neighbours consternated? Partly because of the noise and disruption of up to two years of building works.

And? And partly because in a few cases the digging has caused their own homes to fall apart.

Really? Yup. Excavation work under Goldman Sachs director Christoph Stanger's mansion has caused shifts in the foundations, forming cracks and trapping neighbouring residents in their flats behind doors that no longer open.

And what are the council doing about it? Until recently, almost nothing.

Seriously? Seriously. Of around 1,000 planning applications for basement extensions made in the last five years, more than 800 have been accepted and – as of November – only 90 refused. Planning laws prohibited building upwards, but, as one architect put it: "There was nothing to stop us from drilling all the way down to the south pole."

And did they? Some are getting close. Canadian TV tycoon David Graham, for example, has produced plans for a four-storey basement bigger than his house itself.

But now the council's going to put a stop to it? Not really. New draft rules will prevent digging under listed buildings and reduce the amount of a garden that can be excavated, but they don't come into force until the end of the year.

Meaning? Meaning for now they may just cause a rush on planning application forms and massive drills.

Don't say: "Well, the servants need to live somewhere."

Do say: "Why not go to an actual bloody cinema?"

EX K&C MAYOR TO BUILD K'BRIDGE SKYSCRAPER

LEADER IN WAITING?

When the Dame put up this news of local interest she was absolutely serious when she said she was full of admiration for Cllr Gardner. Without attempting to influence opinion the Dame would like to report back that she has received feedback suggesting the majority of comments are quite unfair. The general perception is that Cllr Gardner is a first class, hardworking and honest councillor:one who works diligently for those who come to her for assistance.
We need more, not less, councillors of the calibre of Joanna Gardner. The comments remain, but it would be nice to see some pats on the back for a highly regarded councillor

A Tory peer and her daughter are being sued by Knightsbridge neighbours over what they fear is a threat to their “morning sunshine”.

The owners of 5 Trevor Square are angered by an application by Baroness Gardner of Parkes, 85, and her daughter, former Mayor of Kensington and Chelsea the Hon Joanna Gardner, to build to “unlimited height” behind the property.

The High Court writ claims this would block the morning sunlight which has been “enjoyed through the windows” for “nearly two centuries”.

The house is owned through an offshore company. Mark Sefton, representing the owners, is asking the court to declare that any such structure “would infringe the right to the access of light to 5 Trevor Square”.

He is also asking for legal costs.

Baroness Gardner joined the House of Lords in 1981 and is the only Australian woman to be elevated to the peerage.

MAKING A DISGUSTING EXHIBITION OF ITSELF

The £26 million Exhibition Road, paved with pink granite quarried by brutalised Chinese political prisoners, symbolises all that is rotten about our Rotten Borough. 
When you take a dangerous walk along the Road, avoiding all the speeding cars, you see how squalid it now looks...chewing gum, oil stains, rubber tyre marks and food residue(including vomit) now garnish the granite.
Nick Paget-Brown,desperate to justify this monstrous waste of money,instructed Mr FitzP of PR to put the road forward for any possible awards:watch out for one from Rubbish Bin Manufacturers Trade Association!

Talking his usual rubbish Prime Minister Pooter described the stainless steel rubbish bins each costing hundreds of pounds as  'iconic'- as if that justified having to clean each one several times a day. 
So small are the bins they continuously overflow causing litter to fall all over the 'iconic' roadway. 

If the millions had never been wasted on Exhibition Rd it could have been invested to generate well over a million pounds a year. Add in the cleaning costs of £300,000 a year and you can see why this folly is now 'costing' taxpayers £1.3 million a year....

What a mess!

K&C REWARDING

THE SPEAKER AND HIS WIFE....

Nothing defines the sad decline of this once great nation than the appointment of the appalling John Bercow as Speaker of the House of Commons. As for his wife........words fail the Dame
Under Bercow's chairmanship the Boundary Commission is taking a look at electoral inequalities in the Rotten Borough.



You can read all about their recommendations Boundary Commission
18 wards will be retained, but four of these, north of Notting Hill Gate, will become two-member wards giving 50 Councillors overall.

The consultation on these proposals now runs to 10 June.

It important stuff and the Commission wants to hear your reactions.....

POOTER GOES CHURCHILLIAN

The Dame has heard that our Prime Minister has been rallying his 'Cabinet' fearful in the face of the threat from Nigel Farage...his bete noir.This is an extract from the PM Pooter's speech as to how he intends fighting the UKIP threat...." 

"We shall defend our Rotten Borough, whatever the cost may be( we have £170 million in reserves). We shall fight UKIP on Exhibitionist Rd, we shall fight over Opera Holland Park..

......we shall never surrender!!!

POOTER GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW

Our Prime Minister has never had a proper job.
However,the possibility that he might get kicked out as 
our £140,000 a year PM forced him to consider the construction industry as a way of replacing lost income.
Here he is off for his first assignment.....

A COUNCILLOR COMMENTS

A Councillor comments....

"He was never intending to go in the Bentley - and as for that patetic protest, it was just stupid. It is time the Dame supported the needs of under-priviledged children rather than a small bunch of dope smokers and pit bull breaders."

It is extraordinary for several reasons...

The councillor displays his gross ignorance and ill

education by making a comment which, in a sentence, 

contains  three spelling errors!

He should accept the Bentley remained unused  thanks to the 

Dame

The councillor should not insult residents-making a legitimate 

protest in this way-by describing them as dope smokers and 

pit bull breeders

Accept that the Dame, by attacking spending on the £23 

million Exhibition Rd and millions on Opera Holland Park, is 

preventing the diversion of resources to fripperies: thus she is 

supporting those in need.