POOTER COCKELL SILENCED BY OLYMPIC ORGANISERS!

There are times when we all see something of Captain Mainwaring in our very own leader...Sir Pooter Cockell. This was an occasion when the parallels became laughably obvious! Pooter was determined to grab his moment in the sun and on the soapbox! Sadly it was not to be....

POOTER REPRISING CAPT MAINWARING!

A young student from the Chelsea Academy was the Torch Bearer who lead the procession into Holland Park this afternoon at 2.40 pm. She was welcomed by a choir and orchestra belting out Jerusalem in bright sunshine, cheered by tens of thousands of residents and visitors. The flame then moved on to its next stop in Shepherds Bush.

The Torch Bearer was welcomed at her stop by the Mayor and Deputy Mayor in full fur and jewels (they must have been roasting but managed to smile throughout). Cllr Lightweight and Cllr Paget-Brown stood a few feet behind the Official Party, sensibly dressed in chinos and good London shirts. Cllr Lightweight also sported a racy panama hat.

Of course Cllr Cockell could not miss the opportunity for some personal puff. Standing centre stage, he produced a microphone and stood up to make a speech. The flame had passed but this was no reason to silence our Pooter. “I am Sir Merrick Cockell, Leader of Kensington and Chelsea” he boomed. “I extend a welcome to British, English and our visitors” at which point the amplification went dead and he could be seen mouthing whatever nonsense he had prepared. A swift look around the crowd showed faces full of puzzlement. “Who is this man and what is the point”?

After an agonising pause and collective embarrassment, the organisers let him have his way. Power returned and the hapless Leader proceeded to give a history lesson about the second time, after 1948 at Earls Court, that the flame had come to Kensington and Chelsea. Mercifully, all things come to an end.