A call from the Leader's Office led to the scrunching of gravel as the Leader's vast and luxurious Bentley pulled up outside the Dame's huge Holland Park town house. Soon The Dame was decanted outside the Town Hall and led by various uniformed minions to the Leader's penthouse suite
Left: Pooter Cockell's penthouse office where The Dame and he hatched a plan
Nursing a glass of fine 60 year old RBKC Special Reserve port Sir Cockell explained his dilemma.
"Dame, I intend following the advice of my arch enemy, Doctor Gordon Taylor (see letter below) but I can't give the impression that I listened to him- that's why I did not reply. Also I have to decide which councillors to cull. How can I not lose face to Taylor?"
In an instant the Dame had the answer.
"Leader, I will hold a competition. I will ask our 85,000 readers which councillor should be immediately sacked. I won't include your ghastly idiotic friend Palmer: I know you value his very personal services. And, of course, I won't let any of the 85,000 choose you"
Our Germanic leader snapped his heels saying, " Dame, you have saved ze bacon, please organise zis competition now. Your Hornet Nest is ze most useful thing."
So readers nominate your most useless councillor..... however, do not include Sir Cockell.
The winner will enjoy a fun filled weekend at Sir Pooter's country retreat.
Here is the letter which forced Cockell to adopt the Taylor Plan to be announced in the next week or two...
Dear Merrick,
On March 8, I wrote to you suggesting that consideration be given to a consultation aimed at reducing the number of councillors by a third – from 54 to 36.This would produce worthwhile savings in the estimated annual cost of councillors of £1.2m.This approach is already being taken by other councils, including Bucks County Council and Telford and Wrekin Council.The chief executives of several councils are also taking voluntary pay cuts.With the chief executive of RBKC costing the taxpayer £256,000 pa, I suggested that a similar gesture would be appreciated by borough residents.Despite a reminder, you have not yet to replied. Perhaps this is not surprising as RBKC seem determined to protect themselves from the effect of the recession and cuts by increasing charges for their services.In October 2010, RBKC decided to increase charges and fees by 3.1%. This was followed by substantially higher increases for parking charges. This is a clear example of the public sector protecting itself at the expense of the taxpayer.
Gordon Taylor,
Chairman West London Residents’ Association
Would like to nominate Cllr Warwick. A complete waste of space. He never replies to residents and is a pompous fart. Waste him Pooter
ReplyDeleteDear Dame
ReplyDeleteI think you have allowed yourself to be influenced by his Lordships fine vintage port, courtesy of the K&C council tax payers. Did he offer it to his mystery guest in New York too? I am sure his Lordship cannot remember, he never does. But back to business. All a bit like the Mikado. There is no doubt that Sir Pooter and Snitcher Palmer must go, sorry if you promised his Lordship to exclude them, a mistake. Two of the most unpleasant people you could ever have to deal with and Cllr Ritchie, useless, lazy and expensive, a real burden on us officers. All of them unpleasant to us with it. After that Sir Useless and Nasty Coates Bt. Certainly Councillor Moylan, also unpleasant to officers, none of them will be missed. But I refuse to be selfish and your other readers should have their say too.
Ritchie, Moylan, Coates, Weatherhead Holt and Gardiner get my vote.
ReplyDeleteBallast, every one of them. And expensive too.
It goes without saying that Cockell and Inspector Palmer should also walk the plank
Steady on, we can't let the Liberal chaps get more power. They need to be culled too
ReplyDeleteWhy is Cllr Gardiner included in your list of dead wood to be culled, 21.33?
ReplyDeleteCllr Gardiner is a free loader. When she was Mayor she used the Mayor's Bentley and driver to go on her personal shopping trips. This is not what tax payers money should be used for.
ReplyDeleteOf course part of the problem is Cllr Cockell who has set the tone for his fellow councillors with his excess and abuse of expenses. Such as the $300 dinner in New York for a "friend" and $416 dinner with fine wines for disgraced councillor Ian Clement. When the Head Boy does these things, those without moral fibre imitate the example. Vide Cllr Ritchie who pulls in £120k from multi tasking on the public purse - an outrage from a bird brain
What about the two Dim Tims? In fact most of the so-called Cabinet should go.
ReplyDeleteIf we are nominating Councillors to be culled, why has no one mentioned Rock Feilding-Mellen? The voters of St Charles "culled" him, but he was then parachuted into Holland ward.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the "cull" that will follow any reduction in the number of elected Councillors in the Royal Borough will not have the desired effects. Councillors like Moylan, Cockell, Feilding-Mellen and Ritchie will have seats for as long as they want them. They will not be the ones to be pushed out. Indeed, reducing the number of Councillors overall will if anything only increase their power.
Dim Tims!
ReplyDeleteFabulous - so precise and accurate
We should first express our gratitude to Dr Gordon Taylor for suggesting that RBKC cuts itself down to size.
ReplyDeleteCockell
Moylan
Paget-Brown
Lightfoot
O'Neil etc
With special bonus:
Sir M Rifkind MP
All more interested in themselves than in residents.
Let's not forget the 'invisibles'. yes indeed, Cllrs Neal, Caruana, Collinson, Hoier, Jones, Mackover, Wade and Will. All attend the bare minimum of meetings and are instantly forgettable, even if they do speak.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, this is too easy!
Easily said who does or does not attend meetings; far less easy to prove. Perhaps there's more to being a councillor than sitting at endless meetings. Residents with problems know who are the useless councillors.
ReplyDeleteRifkind MP is long past his sell by date. The guy hangs on so that he can do interviews on Radio 4 and does not have the slightest interest in his residents.
ReplyDeleteCant even be bothered to hold a surgery in North Kensington where residents would appreciate a sympathetic ear.
Rifkind does nothing for the Conservative Party and everything for himself.
AND he intends to stand again at the next election
Abomination
Paget-Brown is not a bad sort,16.55
ReplyDeleteNot a rocket but heart in the right place and hungry for his SRA. Needs to be pointed in the right direction
A better candidate for your list is Cllr Holt. An opaque jello
And of course the grasping "Rock" and the hopelessly dreadful Inspector Palmer - that nasty peep hole bully
Thank goodness for the Dame
ReplyDeleteThe Hornet is a far more down to earth and accurate mechanism for residents to give feedback to Hornton Street than the Council sponsored (and fixed) "Residents Survey".
Officers are starting to take note
Rifkind is afraid he will lose his FIVE directorships that bring in £250k/year while he sits on his behind as our MP. Nasty, grasping, uncaring type.
ReplyDeleteThank heavens for the Dame.
ReplyDeleteWe all regularly look at her musings and more often than not completely agree with them. We even think one of us is writing it.
Dont worry Palmer can't touch us as we use the library computers or home PCs not our office ones that can track where we surf.
I echo the candidates up for eviction and would ask the Dame to run an "I'm a Councillor Get me Outta Here" competition.
As far as I and my senior colleagues are concerned the entire cabinet could go and it would save us all alot of time, worry, and residents expense.
I'm sorry Dame but we cannot allow you to exclude Cllr Palmer. I know he is a great source of amusement for you and your followers, but we have a duty to strive for the common good and not to act purely for our own benefit. Palmer is belligerent, bombastic and totally without charm and should be top of the hit list.
ReplyDelete