Memorialising 'Lord' Pooter Cockell

Milton in Yogic pose

The Dame strongly disapproves of politicians being immortalised by statue makers-least of all-if just local politico's. She can just cope with those two great Englishmen, Cromwell and Churchill being plonked down in Parliament Square, but Simon Milton? OK, he seemed a nice chap but really do we need to have this odd piece of work. An important part of the English way of life is our disdain for politicians. We reflect that in our refusal to bung up their statues everywhere.



The  Milton sculpture will be erected in Paddington Basin, presumably as a 'Thank You' by European Land, the lucky developers.
The Dame has never understood the mindless adulation of Milton. Milton was Shirley Porter's willing poodle. At no time did he ever apologise for her criminal activity. In fact, they remained close buddies.
The harm Porter did to London and the reputation of the Conservative Party was immense.
Anyway, leave that aside..... The major concern about the statue is the possibility that other minor local leaders will want to have themselves immortalised in stone or bronze. It is truly a horrible thought; the stuff of nightmares.
The Dame hears that the Milton Memorial has got one leader salivating with envy. Yes, you guessed it... Pooter Cockell is particularly concerned his arch enemies, Barrow, Lister or Greenhalgh might try to copy The Milton Monument: thus he has discreetly canvassed colleagues to see whether they might promote a similar sculpture of him.
So far, the reaction has been one of abject horror. However, the Dame can see the possibilities.....
She invites readers to nominate a 'placement' for the Pooter sculpture and ideas as to how the thing would look. A dynamic Pooter? Or one of him recumbent on a Virgin First Class flat bed? Posterity demands it!